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ShoeGaze

New Song, need help and tips :(

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Hi all,

So yeah, I wrote a new song. Been very creative lately. Anyway, this one is very personal to me and wasn't easy to write but I needed to finally do it, it's about losing someone I loved tremendously to drug addiction, severe depression, suicide. This is my way of coping with it. I haven't talked about it since to anyone, I almost couldn't even finish the song and literally cried after I finished it. I'm so happy I was able to do this and do this song.

Since this song is very special and emotional to me, I'm REALLY trying to capture the emotions through my singing, and let the listener feel what I'm feeling through emotion and lyrics combined with the music.

One thing I'm doing that I've never done before is yell singing? I don't know what to call it, I usually sing very subdued as you can tell from my earlier stuff, but the chorus line "I watched as you slowly blew away, I watch you, as you just drift away" was the most important to me, so I layered it with singing louder, and at the last chorus I full on yelled almost all vocal takes. I REALLY wanted to capture something emotional, raw, where you could hear either the pain, anger, or something in that yell but I don't think I nailed it.

 

Please tell me how I could improve that yell at the end, and if any other parts of the singing are off or not "feeling" right for what this song means. Thanks guys/girls.

 

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Hey Shoe,

LOL... that is SO Gothic bro... funny that you don't sort of know that.

Thats ok, its cool.

Great song... I would give you the same advise I gave you on the other song. Try to jump up and sing higher on a few parts for contrast.

 

:borgsmile:

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Is the gothic thing bad? This is the kind of music that comes out when I write, can't control it. Sucks cause I don't even listen to goth at all :/

Oh I did sing louder and higher, second part of chorus and end of chorus. Did you mean like that or different

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