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My Journey

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An initial introduction.

This is my first blog on TMV. I have lots to share and tell you about, especially my singing workshops called Singing Our Socks Off and how I help singers and performers conquer their nerves and anxieties using a wonderful technique called EFT

Ever since I was a little girl I can remember singing, especially in school. One of my earliest memories was rushing home to tell mum that I was going to play Hail Mary in the nativity play. I didn't understand till much later why she was on the floor laughing. I also remember being in the playground on many occasions and having people stand around me whilst I belted out either somewhere over the rainbow or my then favourite Paper Roses.

By the time I had reached senior school though this was a distant memory, there was not much in the way of a choir at the school. They were more focused on dance and drama and when I failed in my audition (which I thought was an excellent interpretation of Kung Fu Fighting) my performing days were all but over.

I still did my party pieces whenever asked and I never felt worried, nervous, self-conscious or uptight. It was natural and enjoyable for me. Until, that was at the tender age of nineteen I heard a comment from one person and decided that they were completely correct, I was rubbish and no one for the next ten years could tell me any different. I went on with my life as usual but every now and then I would be tapped on the shoulder by this urge to sing and do something about it. Whenever I did sing, (usually on my own where nobody could hear me) I felt exhilarated, alive and very free. I would be determined to do something. When I lived in London I visited a well-respected voice coach who was willing to work with me and my potential. My inner voice and nagging doubts had other ideas

In 1989 I met my husband, he played guitar the second day we met, I sang, this took a great deal of courage but again it felt natural. From then on he was instrumental in encouraging, cajoling and sometimes being so frustrated with what must have appeared to be false modesty. I can assure you it wasn't. all of the fears uncertainties and beliefs I had held about my ability seemed real. I genuinely thought people were just being nice. My perceptions changed as quickly as they had when someone made a negative comment. When we had children I always sang to them especially in the car. It was a great way to make a trip round the M25 seem quicker. One day my then three-year-old daughter said mummy when you sing you make my heart melt” I realised at that moment that she had no agenda she was telling me as it was. She wasn't trying to make me feel good or massage my ego. It was as it was. From then on I had to start to admit to myself that maybe I could sing well. I didn't change overnight I still had all the physical feelings of stage fright and self-consciousness but little by little I did my bit.

Over the years I have met many people who have said they wish they could sing but were too scared. Lots of them have similar stories to me in that someone in their past had made a comment or they may have overheard something. Some comments may have been made very innocently and not intended to have a negative effect. But I believe that when someone opens their mouths to sing they are presenting themselves to the very core of who they are. It's an intensely personal thing to do and when you do this you are exposing yourself to be judged. In this climate today unfortunately most of the judgements we see or hear are cutting, demeaning and delivered in a manner that can only be destructive and not constructive. The pleasure of singing is becoming clouded by the belief that you have to be brilliant and the only ambition you should have is to become a superstar or an overnight success. There are many areas you can use your singing voice in and it is my goal to encourage as many people back to this very natural, pleasant and therapeutic activity.

When I teach a class I combine my skills from my therapy background and my skills in hearing, feeling and interpreting a song.


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