This is pretty much the second part of my post ''singing through your eyes and through the public's eyes'' because I want to ask you all some advice on how to manage that stress you have because of too many questions in your head. I am pretty sure that won't only help me, but a lot of people too. Just to have some advice from people who have done this before.
In my previous post, I talked about the solo I have to present in front of 200 people in about less than 2 weeks. Now, today, I had to practice it (I did it only once with the piano a long time ago, so I couldn't remember a lot of how the pianist used to play it) and it was IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY. I am a very nice person who isn't scared to play bass, to play french horn solos, or to talk in front of people.... but when it comes to singing, it's horrible how I am shy. When I got up on the stage, I was petrified and it totally showed in my voice. I started to lose my voice on the first verse, started to have the wrong pitch, started to have a shaky voice (so was my legs) and I ended up totally humiliating myself (from my point of view). A lot of people, when I opened my eyes, where looking at me like : Wow, is she ok? She look like she just saw a ghost. When the teacher stopped, she said : I'm sorry Myriam, I didn't let yourself warmup just before since the song goes high and then low and always moves. I was thankful that she said that, because I could tell she looked into my eyes and saw all the terror. The second time I tried, it was much better, I hitted the notes, tried to give a nice prestation and moving a little bit, but still I keep on thinking that the first impression was bad.... then came the third time, it was even better, but still, not as perfect as I wanted it to be. A lot of people said it was very good and even a girl cried (haha), but still those compliments.... I just feel like if there was something wrong about me. All the other soloist I see going up onto the stage and sing.... they hit their notes, they don't lose their voices... but why me? Could it be a problem of self-esteem? Because I know I have to work on that, like a lot of people.
I also read a book about the prestation... where it says that when you do something you don't like and people say it was very good, they can't know how you sound when you are in the shower or at home or at the studio, so they can only judge by the prestation you gave them and if they thought it was nice, then good. But still, I feel like I am far from my dream and I don't understand why it happens to me, but not to the others...
Would you guys have any advice? Any tricks? Any story that you would like to share? (So I can feel less alone haha!) Because this is just killing me and I don't want to stop, but I feel petrified each time I go on stage, because I feel like it's worse each time.
Thank you very much!