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JonJon

Original song "Morning Light"

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An original song called "Morning Light"  https://clyp.it/0cmkoubr

 

No heavy technical reviews needed (unless you're bored lol.) To me the word "morning" sounds flat or otherwise weirdish. Lemme know what you think.

I realize the "B" in the word "bright" isnt coming out every time.

I was trying to go for a slightly David Coverdale vibe on the verses. The chord at 3:03 is pretty close to Jimmy Page

The intro scat thing was just done off the cuff. I was going to put guitar solos in but didnt have time.

(Edit: note to self. NEVER write a song with this many chorus repeats unless cash is involved lol....waaaayyyy too much work)

 

Ive had this music sitting around for about 6 months. Wrote and sung the vox today. No bass guitar on the recording

 

Enjoy, JJ

 

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Nice tone. A little too many chorus repeats but you knew that already. You sound pretty good already. With 4 pillars you will only get better.

Welcome to the forum.

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Actually, the middle part sounds more like Page, especially from the early years, with the monster riffs, like from "Four Sticks" and "Bron'y Aur Stomp."

The b thing, that is either an arrangement issue or more likely a plug-in mixing thingy. Did you use a de-esser set on "stun"? Dial that back a bit to get some b back into it.

I was not hearing much Coverdale sound. More like a vocal cross between .38 Special and Molly Hatchet, which is a good thing, by the way.

I find this to be quintessential Coverdale.

 

 

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I said I was "trying to go for" a Coverdale vibe lol. I have to get a lot more thick low resonance...but I will eventually

 

Never used de-esser b4....half the time I was getting the B in, other times I wasnt

 

Believe it or not, the line "sun is so bright" reminds me of Rob Halford, like an octave down....maybe from the song "Invader"? or something back in the 70s Priest vibe. lol

Not too sure about M Hatchet vibe...didnt Danny Joe Brown sing thru his nose? Ive sort of determined that im not using much pharyngeal sound at all because 1) I dont feel any resonance in the "mask"and 2) I can hold my nose and it generally doesnt change the sound at all lol

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I definitely like the Skynyrd-38Special-ARS-M Hatchet vibe...being that im southern. Then again I dont fish, hunt, or drink lol.

Love the line from the song 'Flirtin with Disaster'......."got our sights set straight ahead but I aint sure what were after"

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2 hours ago, ronws said:

No, brown did not sing through the nose, he just had a thick sound.

 

He got that Thick sound by a sort of "German Knodel"(like the sound in the beginning of Def Leppards Rock of Ages). The growl in his voice was made by the sound going behind the soft palate like a gargle.

 

 

 Sing Flirtin with disaster with the sound of "Gunter Glieben Glauchen Globen". See what happens.

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7 hours ago, ronws said:

I was not hearing much Coverdale sound. I find this to be quintessential Coverdale.

I was thinking more long the lines of the low, smokey verse sound...almost half speaking/singing. I didnt quite get it this time but im going to try to cultivate it

 

 

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I just took another listen this song. Your chorus is pretty catchy(you do have a little of the Molly Hatchet growl in there) but it is a little too catchy to be repeating at the end, Replace the repeated chorus with a Lead Skat like you were using in the beginning of the song. George Benson style. You can keep that rhythm that you liked so much.   Just a thought.

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I have no clue where ya'll are hearing ANY Danny Joe Brown in this track lol.

Generally the song should have had some lead guitar but I wanted to put it online that night. If anything I might have taken the last couple choruses and sang only the first line of the chorus and then answered with a guitar lick. "And in the morning light"-----guitar lick etc

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23 minutes ago, JonJon said:

I have no clue where ya'll are hearing ANY Danny Joe Brown in this track lol.

Generally the song should have had some lead guitar but I wanted to put it online that night. If anything I might have taken the last couple choruses and sang only the first line of the chorus and then answered with a guitar lick. "And in the morning light"-----guitar lick etc

"And when the Morning Comes" There is this growl thing in there. Maybe a product of the doubling but each first line of the chorus it is there. Mainly heard on "MORNING"

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3 hours ago, MDEW said:

"And when the Morning Comes" There is this growl thing in there. Maybe a product of the doubling but each first line of the chorus it is there. Mainly heard on "MORNING"

yeah, there's a very light growl or whatever on there. It wasnt really very intentional. In other words I was just trying to sing pretty straight without consciously adding much rasp etc.

Pretty sure my voice started getting tired too. Probably the last few choruses started to sound more ragged lol

 

Listening to that Hatchet clip. DJB is going for WAYYYY more growl etc than I was. Mine sounds like a 12 yr old choirboy next to his

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 Danny is putting that growl in on purpose. I have been trying to get that growl for years. I know how it is made and know how to imitate his overall sound but I just cannot get that particular "Southern Rock" growl. I can do the Louis Armstrong and George Thorogood  rasp pretty easy on the lower notes. High notes are a work in progress.

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This has got a dirty sound. The pitching isn't centered per se but it kind of works with the thematic which is grimy and a bit harsh (things I often like). I wouldn't quite know what to give for vocal advice, because it seems to have a cohesive sound, if not necessarily commercial.

I think the chorus is a bit too repetitive and doesn't develop enough for my tastes. The bridge at 1:25 is my favorite section, it has momentum and feels like the song is going in a forward direction.

A lot of popular music is very similar to chanting though. I've always had difficulty more difficulty with tolerating repetition even when I was a kid though. When I was growing up this song was a huge hit:

For me that combination of that chorus and that hook repeating were maddening. But it sold lots of albums and I knew people who were enamored from start to finish for repeated listens. Tolerance to repetition is very subjective among listeners it's actually really interesting and makes me wonder why people respond differently to it.

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1 hour ago, KillerKu said:

This has got a dirty sound. The pitching isn't centered per se but it kind of works with the thematic which is grimy and a bit harsh (things I often like). I wouldn't quite know what to give for vocal advice, because it seems to have a cohesive sound, if not necessarily commercial.

I think the chorus is a bit too repetitive and doesn't develop enough for my tastes. The bridge at 1:25 is my favorite section, it has momentum and feels like the song is going in a forward direction.

 

fair comments. I agree on it being somehow not centered, or a bit pitchy going into the chorus

one thing to remember (since several people commented)....this is essentially about a 50% finished demo. No bass gtr, no lead guitar, no vocal adlibs, only 1 tiny harmony on one line thats turned WAY down in the mix

Its just something with a bare vocal to get feedback on the singing. Even as it sits right now it could easily be built up with ad lib vocal fills, guitar solos/licks, strings etc, reversed stuff etc.

One thing about the track, the drums are essentially 4 minutes of the same pattern with a ride cymbal thrown in here an there....so the song was destined to be repetitive....or hopefully hypnotic. I kept trying to get dude to put some drums online with like 2 patterns back and forth so it would be a pattern like in this song but then it would have a "B" section with a different more syncopated drum feel....that would make the songwriting a snap. Alas I could never get him to do exactly that  The dude named the original drum track "Robotic Haze." I cut it from like 7 minutes down to 4 http://www.wikiloops.com/backingtrack-jam-41083.php

here is the original song I wrote with a different chorus that everyone told me was too much of a "kashmir" ripoff lol. http://www.wikiloops.com/backingtrack-jam-41085.php

 

This is a similar feel, with more variation built in

 

 

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This is another "model" song for me...with that similar drum feel...and some nasty vocal harmonies etc. This is what I was trying to get the drummer to do. Basically take the hypnotic dead straight beat for 8 bars or whatever, then alternate it with a syncopated pattern....and just do that back and forth. Makes the writing way easier IMO

 

 

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I did not like Jon. There is potential but its very raw for now. Main thing to work would be finding more relaxation, and explore more the vowels. More attention to the rhythm would also be important.

The chorus sounds as if you were singing another music on top of the harmony, I could not understand what you tried to do there exactly

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On 1/28/2016 at 5:49 AM, ellise k said:

i enjoyed listening to your song. I liked the edge to it and the honesty in the lyrics :)

Thats a nice observation. Thats sort of the only way I know how to write at the moment lol. The idea is vaguely based on something like John 16:21. When you are going thru stuff it seems hard or impossible but when you come out the other side you might be so glad that you even forget the struggle. I guess the moral is...dont give up when it gets hard

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