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Queen_Jojo

Scared to sing!

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Hey guys I'm new to the forum and would like to ask you all a question. I've always wanted to sing since as long as I can remember, I was fine with it when I was younger, I even sung on stage a few times, but now that I'm older singing terrifies me, I can't even sing when I'm alone in my room and when I try I'm really quiet as if I physically can't do it, like I'm just insanely worried that I sound bad. 

I've looked up on how to improve, a lot of people have suggested that I practice scales, but I worry that I sound like a idiot doing scales and vocal warm-ups, I've also looked into vocal coaches, but they're really expensive  (like some were £30 for 40 minutes and that was one of the fairly cheap ones) and I'm a student so I can't afford that....

Any tips or ideas on how to get over my fear of singing?

Thanks for any help

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18 minutes ago, Queen_Jojo said:

Hey guys I'm new to the forum and would like to ask you all a question. I've always wanted to sing since as long as I can remember, I was fine with it when I was younger, I even sung on stage a few times, but now that I'm older singing terrifies me, I can't even sing when I'm alone in my room and when I try I'm really quiet as if I physically can't do it, like I'm just insanely worried that I sound bad. 

I've looked up on how to improve, a lot of people have suggested that I practice scales, but I worry that I sound like a idiot doing scales and vocal warm-ups, I've also looked into vocal coaches, but they're really expensive  (like some were £30 for 40 minutes and that was one of the fairly cheap ones) and I'm a student so I can't afford that....

Any tips or ideas on how to get over my fear of singing?

Thanks for any help

Sing. The only way to get over the fear of singing is to sing.

It will not work when you are quiet. You need the air to move the vocal folds. If you are afraid to sing. Yell, scream, make funny sounds, Talk to yourself, learn what changes take place n the voice while you are making different noises  If you do all of those things anyway, Go ahead and sing. People already think you're crazy so go ahead and sing. Nothing left to be afraid of.................

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When I saw the title "to scared to sing" how did I just know before ever reading this topic that this was a new member to the forum and new to singing then?

 

Sining scales is a vey basic exersise for beginers and is a must! of cource people have not a clue what you are doing and will think you are making a fool of your self because they dont know anything about this craftmans ship, the bottom line is dont sing scales in public do it where no one can hear you and record it and have it ready for review

Regarding expencive singing lessons; I am sure there will be a teacher that will post hear not before long offering there services for an online training program;)

 

PS where do you live?

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Most instruments are out of tune before you try using them. Don't be afraid to sound bad. You have to learn how to tune your instrument. Stop judging yourself so harshly. You do it quietly, but you have to do it louder. Go somewhere you can be alone if you need to. When I started, I would do 30 minutes of scales in my car everyday.

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When you first start singing and learning about technique and stuff, there's a lot to think about. Scales can be a good way to start and especially if you get yourself an inspiring teacher who can show you easy and fun ways to practice, that will help you get started. The most important thing though, is that you start changing your mindset. If you start believing that you CAN sing and that you WILL sound good, it WILL happen. You might not sound like you want to sound at first but don't worry, you'll get there. The most important thing is for you to believe that one day you will sound good! That will also help your subconscious to steer you in the right direction towards your goals. 

And remember to enjoy singing :)

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just sing and train your voice, and sing and keep doing it!

eventually you will be good enough so you are better than most average people and you could go to karaokes to test you out, and gradually you WILL build confidence about you singing to other people :P  (cause you will know you have something cool, special, that are showing to people and they know it also!), then you can expand this joining to bands, doing projects as a vocalist etc!

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Based on what you wrote here, I'd like to suggest you take a step back.

So much of your singing is dependant on the mind and your mindset, your attitude, your will, your belief.  You need the mind to communicate to your vocal instrument your vocal intentions. This is critical to becoming a good singer.

If you are as afraid as you are describing here, (that's very fearful) my suggestion would be to seek out a psychologist.

You may have underlying mental conflicts perhaps unrelated to singing that produce the fear and singing is just a trigger of those fears.

 

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... He is a beginner Bob!?

36 minutes ago, VideoHere said:

So much of your singing is dependant on the mind and your mindset, your attitude, your will, your belief

Not if you are a beginner.

36 minutes ago, VideoHere said:

my suggestion would be to seek out a psychologist.

You may have underlying mental conflicts perhaps unrelated to singing that produce the fear and singing is just a trigger of those fears.

C'mon Bob, get serious.

Queen... start training and you will build confidence by watching yourself grow as a singer and you will go through the normal process of building confidence. One thing is for sure, worrying about how you sound when your doing scales is the LAST thing to worry about. If you can't get past that, then forget it. There is no chance. 

Pick yourself up, be strong, keep your chin up and get going.

This might help you... notice point #3.

 

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1 hour ago, Robert Lunte said:

... He is a beginner Bob!?

Not if you are a beginner.

C'mon Bob, get serious.

Queen... start training and you will build confidence by watching yourself grow as a singer and you will go through the normal process of building confidence. One thing is for sure, worrying about how you sound when your doing scales is the LAST thing to worry about. If you can't get past that, then forget it. There is no chance. 

Pick yourself up, be strong, keep your chin up and get going.

This might help you... notice point #3.

 

 

I think just doing the exercises will get her out of it. Once I started doing the exercises properly and then trying some of my favorite songs and getting better at them, little by little, I would get more confident. 

 

By the way, looking very distinguished with the stubble!

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19 minutes ago, Gsoul82 said:

By the way, looking very distinguished with the stubble!

So it seems with some folk... I think its weird. The first time I grew a beard in my life... and its weird. Can't make any promises... not sure I'll roll with it for long... if women like it though, I'm in! :P

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I had severe depression all because I wanted to sing but I was to scared to even in my own home. Once I started to sing my family told me to stop and called me the worst singer they had ever heard, that didn't boost my confidence much but I kept going...... now they ask me to sing

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3 minutes ago, Robert Lunte said:

This is your que to inspire Jarom... share that tune you posted a few months back that was really good brother!

better yet.... my whole EP (that song included) 

 

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1 hour ago, Robert Lunte said:

So it seems with some folk... I think its weird. The first time I grew a beard in my life... and its weird. Can't make any promises... not sure I'll roll with it for long... if women like it though, I'm in! :P

I almost thought that was somebody else. I'm a beard guy though. Don't like how I look without it and my shadow comes back by the time the day is over.

1 hour ago, Jarom said:

I had severe depression all because I wanted to sing but I was to scared to even in my own home. Once I started to sing my family told me to stop and called me the worst singer they had ever heard, that didn't boost my confidence much but I kept going...... now they ask me to sing

 

You know I'm proud of you, man. You used to join the singing challenges all the time. You really came up. 

 

And that's the best story Queen could have read here. The worst possible thing somebody could say is you suck. I had the privilege of having a family who didn't tell me I sucked. Other people gave me positive and some negative comments. But when it comes down to it, who cares. You're not doing it for anybody else. You're doing it for yourself.

 

 

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21 hours ago, Jarom said:

I had severe depression all because I wanted to sing but I was to scared to even in my own home. Once I started to sing my family told me to stop and called me the worst singer they had ever heard, that didn't boost my confidence much but I kept going...... now they ask me to sing

Do you come from a family of musicians?

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Please sing and sing everyday, no matter how bad you sound to you. The joy that you get when you sing and learn and become better and better is one of life's greatest joys.  Surely you do not want to deprive yourself of that.  Singing is a long long journey and like everything else it begins by taking the first step.  Just start singing, don't care much for outcomes at this point.  Sing because you want to, sing because it makes you happy and sing because you owe it to yourself.. 

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There are quiet ways to practice, so you can still improve without letting other people hear you! It's not always about your voice that needs to be trained. If you're still too shy to sing, you can practice breath control since it's pretty quiet, stick your tongue out to train to relieve tongue tension, or just do what I do sometimes when there are other people in my house and I want to practice singing. Put your hand on your mouth and do some exercises if you know any (but then again... you'd probably have to learn what the exercises would feel like first, and the only way to do that is if you can hear it properly...). And then maybe one day you can take your hand off your mouth and just simply start and experiment with your voice. Try humming. I remember it was much easier to be on pitch when I hum than when I sing, so you could be less scared when training your voice.

The main thing in getting over anything that makes you shy in general, is to expose yourself in that thing (so your brain can learn that it's safe to do this thing, and it's nothing you should be afraid of). So the only way to get over being shy to sing, is to sing. It's not always going to be the same for everyone on how fast they build confidence. But just do whatever's going to build your confidence. Like, if we're going to use Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body" as an example, first you can just sing one word "touch". And then try singing two words "Touch my", then three words, then four words. Then finally, you can sing "Touch my body, GIVE ME WHAT I DESERVE!" in your room, and your family will think you're a weirdo. This dog in my profile pic looks really cute.

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why did I get a pentalty for this, I was being serious. this is how you deal with shyness. start at where you can do it from, and increase the difficulty. Like, right off the bat if you're too shy to sing, then you AIN'T GONNA SING. so basically telling her to just sing, may not make her sing just because she's been told that it's okay and there's nothing wrong with singing. because she's still gonna be feeling that nervousness especially if she's really shy, and you're gonna need that drive to really do it. so I told her to start singing ONE word, and then sing TWO words, and then more, and more, til she gets comfortable to singing more, and end up singing fully. it might sound like I'm exaggerating, but some people are just REALLY that shy that they might not be able to sing right off the bat, and that's why you should do something else to make them ACTUALLY sing.

so the person who reported me I'm not a jerk!

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oh, and I also read a psychology book about shyness and social anxiety some years back (which I didn't finish) talking about this thing, and I'm just passing the information that I understood and remember from it in my comment

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