New original song!! :D

[Snejk]

So this guy contacted me after hearing me sing. So I went to his place and he showed me a song. I came up with the melody, harmonies and lyrics on the go... I am very bad at harmonies which also shows - most harmonies are extremely off-pitch ( However it was a great learning session!!! The falsetto harmony in the chorus coupled with the lower harmony really does something for the semi-high singing in the chorus...

Anywho, the mixing is.. Not optimal, but I had to leave it in the hands off the other guy because I have no idea about music programs!!

So, any feedback would be mostly appreciated. I am pretty amazed I actually could sing the chorus... The last notes "those who stay!" is entirely in falsetto but even though it sounds very thin I'm kinda surprised... :3

Check it out!

EDIT: Lyrics;

Music, video and mix - Hansi Schoeneck

Vocals, melody and lyrics - Patrik Ahlström

Lyrics;

We can feel something burning inside - our torment - our own grey skies; eternity awaits us all.

Being punished for the guilt inside - a sinners agony a fighters pride; eternity awaits them all.

A paradise; the darkest of Eden.

A tragedy awaits those who stay.

We keep fighting amongst ourselves for a reason long forgotten - eternity awaits us all, awaits us all.

The gates to the garden is open; we're greeted by the scythe and the cloak - eternity took us all.

A paradise; the darkest of Eden.

A tragedy awaits those who stay.

[ronws]

Excellent concept. I wanted to hear your voice a little more prominently (it's the mix.) The vocal line you came up with totally matches the mood of the music. Elegant and simple. Light and dark, good and evil. A dark song topped by the voice of an angel. Let me guess, there was no strain at all, for you. Because you sang the song as suited for your voice. I liked and I thought it was well done, recorded well, produced well. You've got the look, you've got the voice. I just need to see your next cd release (even if it is your first.)

Some might think I am blowing smoke up your skirt but I am not. If I truly don't like something, then I won't comment. But if I like something, I don't have a problem saying so. Plus, I know for a fact that people excel when rewarded, more than they correct when criticize. I've seen it happen with my own two eyes. So, my hope is that you will do more original stuff and, if you can, keep working with this guy. I think you're on to something.

[Snejk]

Thanks a bunch Ron, your comments are always very appreciated... I always find myself grinning like a child when reading However if anything is off and I'm not aware of it or if there is something to improve on I'd also love to hear it, kinda the reason I signed up here haha

The song was a breeze singing up until the chorus. I'm very confident in my middle register but man, the chorus! It took several retakes simply due to the ending "those who stay". The part prior to that just demanded a bit more effort since overdrive always does. A friend of mine, Thomas Vikström, singer of Therion told me that if I "sing high, powerful heavy metal notes for an extended time and don't get red in the face, I'm doing it wrong." Seeing as his father was a prominent opera singer and he himself sings Nessun Dorma in a magical manner I recon it's okay that it actually tires me after a while.

Changing to pure falsetto in order to reach the notes in "those who stay" proved being a challenge since I had to approach it entirely different than overdrive. Fun nevertheless!

I guess the important thing to note was that it was -difficult- landing the chorus perfectly, but it never hurt.. :3

Anyway, I'm going to give this guy a shot, do some more music. I do however feel that I should be a part of the mixing... The vocal track needs to blend better with the instrumental track

Thanks for the kind words!

[ronws]

As long as your friend means red in the face from running out of breath after a long note, okay. Anyway, I think your high notes will get more comfortable the more you relax and allow those notes to lighten, even if you are singing them loud and I know that sounds counterintuitive. That is, a note can sound strong without actually being "chesty" or "mixed with chest resonance." The highest notes can sound "beefy" simply because of the tonality, such as having a rasp or even choosing a vowel sound that "sounds" raspy, when it really isn't. It's an illusion caused by how the mind hears and remembers a sound. And yes, sometimes you have to work and train for notes you wrote yourself. It happens to me, sometimes. Sometimes, I will just riff vocally until something works and then keep that. And not just with a run of notes, but resonances, also. I make funny voices that don't strain me at all and I can "stumble" upon a set-up that works way cool for one thing. And use it on that one thing. Like the way a guitar player noodles around in a mode such as phrygian or locrian and finds a "sweet spot" that works for the song he is playing.

Keep up with the falsetto. There's a few pro singers that wish they had falsetto because of the timbre effects they could get, but they don't have it. Others have lost it as they pursued full voice with a thick growl. And eventually sing mostly baritone, which is fine, as it suits much of the dark metal these days.

And yes, you said exactly what I meant. The vocals should be blended a bit more prominently with the instrumental parts.

And of course, the math equation, no pain = good. No pain no gain might be okay for a body builder working on his quads, one of the largest muscle groups in the body, but even he gives it a rest. And no pain no gain will only wreck a set of tissue no bigger than the size of your thumb and a bit thinner.

So, whatever you did, do that some more.

As long as the tired feeling you are talking about is mostly in your belly, I think you are probably okay. Yes, any muscle fatigues with use, even the muscles we use to sing.

[Snejk]

Yes indeed. When singing high for an extended period of time I know I for one get blood running everywhere in my face! It doesn't tire my voice or put strain on the cords, it simply means I'm doing something physically more challenging than, like, sleeping

Mostly when I sing I try to find a set-up for each note that allows it to ring fully and well by just letting the air pass. I would never "force" air or such if you know what I mean? When recording and I get a funky sound by doing something unhealthy, I might stick with it just that once simply because it sounds awesome. I would never do it live however since I really want to care for my voice. I want to have a falsetto when I reach 60

A bit trickier to maintain the "openness" of a tone, be it overdrive or curbing etc, is shorter notes with lots of interval hopping in a staccato manner... Therein lies a good challenge not to strain Doing glissandos for every note, keeping everything smooth is also boring to listen to in the long run ;D

But I really feel what you write about exploring the voice, trying silly sounds and just see what happens.. The voice can do some incredible things:)

[ronws]

Amen, brother.