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Original song from my band that is no more.

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This is an original song by the band I was in before we all went our separate ways. This site is the only site where I've gotten any constructive feedback about music, so I thought I'd put it up.

The lyrics and music were co-written by myself and the two guitar players.

skip to 1:07 in the video for the beginning of the song.

I can type up the lyrics if anyone wants them.

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That's a really nice song. Like, radio-ready. You should grab the copyright.

Interesting way to start and end. Kind of ambling intro that gets tighter as time goes by. You sounded hesitant, at first. Then, you took your foot off the brake and found second gear as the song picks up intensity. Cool sounding break.

There was on point, though I might be wrong, it sounded like the guitars and bass were not quite meshing but it might have been an odd concantenation of timbres, especially as recorded on whatever it was. ( a cell phone camera?)

The drummer was tight. It's funny, I sing but the first thing I notice is drums. If the drums are not right, nothing else is.Your singing was good, I thought.

Serisously, if you could mix this, you ought to release it.

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I'm going to try to get a hold of the other people involved and see if I can grab the rights and credit them with writing. As for the bass/guitar not meshing, there are a couple of places where fills were freestyled by my bassist, so it may not have fit perfectly. He's 17 years old and, basically a virtuoso and I don't go into any projects without him. I really believe he'll be regarded as one of the best bassists in the world at some point. He's like a young John Myung mixed with Victor Wooten.

I still mourn the breakup of this band. A couple people let themselves get caught up in outside influences and lost sight of just making good music, eventually leading to a bad breakup and there's still animosity between some of us. It's hard to see what we were doing and know it won't happen again.

I really appreciate the critique and compliments. It means more to me that you know. Thanks for taking the time to listen to it and get back to me and I'll make sure to post the final mix if I manage to get a hold of the rights.

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I think, as has been stated, that that's a good song that just needs polishing and a proper recording, and it's radio ready. You've got some good highs and lows to your voice, I'll bet you'd sound really great in the studio where the nuances and inflections can really be heard.

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What Jeran said. Moreso, because this song feels "current." It's got the vibe, the honesty. This song could also be your "chick magnet" song, something you should keep in a live set list. And bring along a pda or notebook to write down all the phone numbers you will get.

As for the break-up, that's more like standard operating procedure than the opposite. Bands like U2, are a fluke, where the original line-up has never changed. Then again, those guys have had a common interest outside of the music. For example, they are christians and share similar beliefs, both in and out of music. Though Bono (Paul Hewson) was the last entrant to the band. He was one of the first to answer their ad looking for a singer. And he just had the sound and feel they were looking for. So, U2 did find what they were looking for, even as Bono sings "And I still haven't found what I'm looking for." I likes me some irony.

And perhaps, your band broke up as some got more into the "lifestyle" things. I once auditioned for band back in 1990? that couldn't accomplish anything other than deciding when to take a break to smoke a joint. So, they had a neat band name, a storage garage to practice in, some pa equipment, a really loud guitarist who could compete volume-wise with the drums, and nothing else. It reminds me of what Vincent Fernier said when he was producing bands and some group would come to him with neat artwork, the outfits, the "pose." He would say "Great, I get it, your angry, whatever .... where's the song?"

Having a virtuostic bassist can help. Duff McKagan actually played more guitar before joining Guns and Roses. And his way of playing a melodic bass really helped the music.

Same with John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin. He actually wrote and composed some of their biggest hits. One of my favorites, "The Rain Song" was initially composed by JPJ on a melotron. And Jimmy Page picked up on it and created the walking bass counterpoint in the guitar fills.

Speaking of which, that is a song I think you could do well. You've got the right voice-type for it.

Edited to add:

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Maybe I'm listening to something different then the other guys, but I don't hear a "radio hit" in this...

Your vocals actually bring the song alive, although you seem to be darkening your tone - covering it more then you should... but it's what keeps the song going.. You seem to be singing it a little flat in a way, that you could offer it so much more ...

Almost a lack of emotion from the vocals and the music... more math then feel.

Anyway, doesn't matter, the band is disbanded, which is common..

you have some talent there, so work on it, and keep it going....

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And perhaps, your band broke up as some got more into the "lifestyle" things. I once auditioned for band back in 1990? that couldn't accomplish anything other than deciding when to take a break to smoke a joint.

Same with John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin. He actually wrote and composed some of their biggest hits. One of my favorites, "The Rain Song" was initially composed by JPJ on a melotron. And Jimmy Page picked up on it and created the walking bass counterpoint in the guitar fills.

Speaking of which, that is a song I think you could do well. You've got the right voice-type for it.

Edited to add:

This is the exact issue we had. 2 people started smoking pot and kept making decisions for the whole band while they were high. They'd tweak music without telling me and talk to potential sponsors without telling me. We had not played a live show at a venue yet and they wanted to audition for an alarm company because they offered to send us on tour to all their selling locations to hype the company. I told them it was not a good idea since we hadn't played at a venue with monitors and a crowd, therefore we couldn't gauge our effectiveness or even if we could hold a beat on stage.

They ignored me, then told me that they had 2 weeks until the audition AND the sponsor had said something about liking a more gruff rock sounding vocal so I would have to "change my voice" before the audition or I'd be out of the band. I took my equipment, left on the spot and the bassist came with me. They tried to play an "instrumental" set on stage and failed miserably about a week later. I've since moved on and improved.

I'm currently in a new band and attempting to acquire full rights to that song.

As for The Rain Song, I've loved that song for years and I think now's as good a time as any to record a cover. I'll post it when I'm done.

Thanks for all the feedback guys.

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It's kind of what I suspected, Dave. People getting into too much of the wrong thing and biting off more than they can chew.

Don't change your voice. You sing the song, people will come to you.

And for those who would say that you have to have a rougher voice for rock music, I will continuously parade the example of Rik Emmett from Triumph until they either accept it or I drop from exhaustion. Or Dennis DeYoung from Styx. Or Kevin Cronin from REO Speedwagon. Or Michael Aday aka "Meatloaf." Or Steven Perry.

I think this was a good song and if you had a chance to mix it for real in a sound format more suitable than whatever little camera that was, it would sound even better.

Anyway, looking forward to hearing more of you.

As Kevin Cronin sang, "you've got to keep on rolling, keep on rolling, roll with the changes."

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