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Help me point out my flaws

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Enander
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http://www78.zippyshare.com/v/71732801/file.html

This is me singing this song for the first time. One take, no particular warm-up (that's why my higher notes are so clean. Too clean and "sissy" if you ask me, but it's too risky to push it). Just me plugging in the mic and trying the song out.

I believe this will display my inherent flaws more clearly, and perhaps you could help me pin-point them (aside from forgetting the lyrics and just mumbling haha)! :)

Now, I hear two distinct flaws by my own:

1. My sense of timing is as well-developed as a war-torn African country.

2. My S-sounds are just stupid/lazy.

(3. I'm really bad at regulating the distance between me and mic to avoid "clips")

If you can tell me something more, I'd be happy! I'm afraid I'm a bit too accustomed to my own voice to hear every flaw.

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Your s sounds are not lazy enough. Really. They are too strong. Try them as z's, if you are trying to sound american. This song has a bit of rubato in it, so timing can be lax as long as you still end on the beat.

And yes, either crappy mic or odd mic proximity.

Also, your use of the j sound on the word "you" gives away your accent. Possibly, you speak a latin language, sort of like spanish. I hear it a lot in spanish speakers that have not acclimated to the english letter, y.

Other than that, I like how you did this song. It is definitely meant for your voice and vice versa.

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Thanks, Owen! Yes, the mic is "budget" so to say.

ronws, good points! I will try to do a more z-sound instead, and I was totally oblivous to my j-sounds, but I will look into that as well. Thank you! :)

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It's actually a good sign when I can only find minor things that you could change rather than "Oh my goodness, please change your career to underwater basketweaving." You are a good singer and every mistake you have made, I have already made, many times, before you.

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