Hi Olem,
First I wanted to say, that I liked your cover, and though you had improved it using some of the advice that folks from the forum had given you.
I wanted to echo Jonpall, it is often helpful for me to focus on a part of a song and get it down, before putting the entire thing together, it also makes it easier for the folks giving you constructive criticism to focus on the same section. Some of the sections were really good, some seemed to me that they might benefit from a bit more work.
Finally, I noticed that there is a new guy in the forums typing "\m/" for folks that covered metal songs well, and I wanted to be the first to type it to you so..... \m/! (I think these are supposed to be an emoticon version of metal horns. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sign_of_the_horns )
Doug