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I'm heartbroken. Guide me.

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Hello guys!

I don't know anyone else to talk about this with, so I suppose people like you- who like to sing- would maybe understand me.

I don't know if this is the right forum or even site to write this, but I'm giving it a try.

Music and singing truly is what keeps me going, and it's always been a part of me, and truly what I define myself with. You can tell me I suck at playing piano, that I'm not funny, that I'm not good-looking, that I'm worthless etc etc and I'd be like "oh ok" but if you tell me I suck at singing- it will truly crush me and I would cry. And I don't cry about anything. That's how important singing is to me and how miserable I feel, because singing is truly the only way I can express myself - to myself. You see, I don't ever really sing in front anyone else. It's my own sacred ritual. And if I'm not even good at that... Truly what am I even living for?

I'm too shy to do real life vocal training at this moment. But I've been doing random vocal exercises at home, but never found anything that really works. I feel like everything is a part of some plan that costs $10000 and they don't really give me anything more than that.

SO I would appreciate hearing what you think I should be doing to improve my singing even a little. Like stable exercises that I can do daily. I know it sounds ignorant but I really don't want to hear that I should get over it or to stop doubting my worth based on my singing. Because I truly do and will never ever stop doing that. Just like a bird is made to fly I feel like singing is my flying. But my wings are broken. Just like my heart. 

I'm sorry if you clicked the video and didn't like it. I really thought I sounded OK on it and sent it to a friend who told me I was better at other things. I probably seem weak saying this but my heart is filled with sadness now. 

Thank you 


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      This has nothing to do with whether you can or will be able to "sing".....Do not let any one thing "Define" you. That is a defeatist attitude before you even start. Make a goal to "Learn" to sing better or to "control" your voice. Practice matching pitches and learning to hear when you are singing the same pitch as the melody calls for. 

    Even professional singers do things to keep the voice in shape for singing...They work on the individual songs they are going to sing and make changes in the way they sing them until it starts to sound "Right". Do not let it bother you that you will have to work on the voice to make it sound better....Michael Jackson worked with a coach throughout his career.....He practiced and made his voice sound better just like everyone has to do.

     You have a piano, that is a good start because you need something to play the notes for you to reproduce with your voice. You have to learn how to recognize when you are singing on pitch and when you are not.

    Doing this on your own, I would hold(sing) a note. and then use the piano to find the note that you sang. Once you found that note on the piano I would sing that note again and play that note on the piano at the same time and pay attention to whether the note you sing is exactly the same note you played. If something sounds "Off", play the note a few times and listen closely to it....Then try to match it with your voice. do the same thing with another note 2 whole notes higher than the first. Ex. If the first note was C play and sing the E note. When you are comfortable with singing the E note, Play the C note and then the E note making a 2 note melody. C E

  A few other things that need to be pointed out. You are singing a song that has a Female singer. She is singing 2 octaves higher than where you are trying to sing this. Being new to singing will make this even more difficult because you will not be able to tell if you are singing the same melody as she is. This puts your voice TOO LOW to control the voice when you are figuring out ""How to sing".  And the tone of the voice is too different from yours to tell if you are singing the same notes or not. Find a song from a Male singer that is close to your "Speaking range that has a simple melody to practice on. 

   When you are singing scales or doing voice exercises, do them a little louder than when you are speaking. And do them with a firm tone like when you are standing your ground in an argument, not in a soft quiet voice.


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So, looks like you're passionate about singing. You understand that  it's about expression. You have a sense of expression and you can hear it in your singing. That is a solid foundation.

Then comes the question of how best to communicate the intended expression to other people. How do you get other people "in the zone" of what you want to express?

Well, one thing to recognize is that for your own singing you are the most zoned person, naturally. There can be quite a difference to make up to get other people equally zoned and hearing your singing the way you hear it. You have to aim to be really precise, It's a bit like reading your own handwriting. For other people to be able to read it, it has to be clearer than if it is only for you. That is because you have a hefty head start in interpreting what is being expressed.

Listening to your singing, it seems to me that you find chest resonance very important. But remember, there are other resonances to explore fully. Do that. See if you can get sound to resonate back of the mouth, nose, head etc. All these resonances complement chest resonance, and help bring it out even more. Practise funny noises. Experiment. That is what singers do. See what new resonances you can discover and incorporate.

Sometimes, if an option isn't there, you may tend to push the only option you have to its limit. But once you have developed a range of options, you can select which one does the best job.

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