Another original track

[Chavie]

Wrote this one night when i couldn't sleep lol

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11241996

[ronws]

Way cool. And the sound effects, it all paints a mental image.

[Chavie]

The vocal harmonies were tough for me, i kept wanting to sing the lead melody lol

[KillerKu]

Hey, this is good. I'm liking your tone quite a bit. It's got a bit of a Thom Yorke kind of soft vibe that sounds quite good meshed with this style of music.

I don't have much critique of the singing to be honest, because a lot of advice people would give on average to give a more traditional singing voice might sound to 'cutting' or 'thick' or loud for this kind of song.

On the songwriting side I thought you did a great job too, but one thing I noticed in particular was the hi hat line? I'm a drummer, so i was noticing the drums specifically, I thought when it does that roll, t t t t t t t t t t t t ttttttttttt? Kind of like that (loosely)?

Hey you wrote it so you know what I'm talking about! Anyway, I thought in general that was a really cool idea, but might have worked better as a fill that doesn't happen on every repetition. Maybe if it alternated, or if that came in during song transitions it might have been more interesting.

Not saying my idea is better (could easily be worse), just giving some ideas to think about when writing. Anyway, nice job, I really think you're onto something here. Keep working on your songwriting, if you can get the melodies a bit catchier (something I might hum later tonight after hearing), you might be hitting upon a commercial sound here.

[ronws]

actually, Killer, I like your critique. It's just as important, at times, as any vocal tip or pointer. Many is the time that my vocal was hidden or distracted by some instrumental or mixing or recording problem. Granted, you're talking aesthetics as far as how arranging is going.

And that's bands and their producers hire mixing engineers. Of course, it depends on what kind of sound quality you are looking for. Mutt Lange, uber-producer, micro manages each note, but his productions sell millions. He mixed Hysteria for Def Leppard.

[Chavie]

Yea i just came up with a cool drum pattern and pasted it over and over lol

i need to work a lot on the dynamics as well.

It was kind of a rough idea, in the middle of the night

my biggest concern is the lyrics, they are pretty cliche,

[Keith]

your voice is epic dude! As are your song writing abilites.

[Chavie]

Thanks man i appreciate that.

[clirma]

man I love this.great job great song great vocal great ideas

there are so much talents on this world . long live the net cause on radio or TV youre never gonna hear or see something that really deserves it