KillerKu Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I realize this isn't a technique post, but I just wanted to say thank you to the admins and fellow members, for having me here even though I don't belong here. I can't sing, I'm in constant pain, I'm suicidal, and still obsessed with singing after 3 years of hell. It's honestly really unhealthy for me to be here. I originally came here to leave my sob story and leave, but when people tried to help me, I realized I could help some of you too. To anyone I've helped, thank you for letting someone like me help you, to those that tried to help me thank you so much. I know you mean well. I hope somehow some of my dream has rubbed off on you, and you will carry the torch. If you work hard enough at this, please go make something good and don't just toil away trying to make a perfect voice. They don't exist. But me, after 3 years of this. You go to doctors and either they don't know, don't believe you, don't care, or worse insult you and laugh. I don't believe I'll ever be able to sing or speak without significant pain and the risk of hours long spasm ever again. In order to be as healthy as I can be, I have to accept this. I have to give up the dream, the passion, and the obsession. This situation has ruined my entire life. I can't even talk to family reliably. I can't lift things reliably without my throat going into spasm. This is not something I can fix, and it's not something that I believe doctors can fix. They can't be 'that' incompetent. I'm sorry. They are telling me that they have never seen this before ever, and I've seen my doctor actually look frightened. Whatever is going on, I never, ever imagined this would happen to me, and I honestly can't believe I'm still living this hollow pathetic life. Just clinging on, in pain, with my dreams shattered, with my social life completely ruined. Not being able to eat. Everything I've tried, either does nothing or makes it worse, so trying to 'not aggravate' the problem seems my best avenue. I just wanted to thank everyone for letting me be here, and I hope, that somehow, some way, I've been able to leave a positive impact on you all. I can't be here. I need to 'forget' about singing. I can't seem to get over this loss, after 3 years I can't get over this. I want to sing every day, every hour, but I have to forget about it so I can either do something else or just give up. If I stay here, it's only going to add to the obsession of what I just cannot have. So take care everyone, and I wish every single one of you the absolute best in achieving whatever it is you want to achieve with your voice. I wish you health, and that no one ever has to experience this ever again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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