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Fears and not feeling like singing

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Hanalei

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And I like to think I sound great, but I portray myself as an amateur singer, and I tend to ask for feedback with a negative onset, such as "Well that didn't go too well, did it?" And the answer usually is "well I dunno, it's a hard song to sing, right?"

So, you had set yourself up for failure from the beginning. You gave to others the result you expected to hear. And they want to agree with you. You start out saying "That stunk, didn't it?"

The only person holding "you" back is "you." I am not saying that a singer doesn't need to practice or that he can sing well simply by believing he can sing well. But I am saying that if you put up a blockade against yourself, that blockade will be successful.

Stop doing that. And we are all going to have some off days. Pick it up the next day and do better.

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I haven't read through the whole thread so sorry if this has already been said but my take on this is that nerves are a good thing it shows you that you give a damn and can really add energy and passion to a performance if you use it.

Now too much can be brutal I know, but really come on, what is the worst that can happen, really? Just about every performer out there has had a bad night or two, right?

Singing In front of people you care about is always the hardest for everyone because it's their support you want more than anyones. You want to just fast forward to them knowing you are a great singer but the truth is that cant happen you either earn it over time, or with some they will never let you out of the box they have always labeled you in so it's really not worth worrying about.

If you are not able to sing when you really need to like gigs, auditions etc, not to be too blunt about it but seriously, man up and just do it! Everyone who performs is in the same boat and try to be too busy doing it to be thinking about how it sounds(That's only for practice imo).

Very few of us are born with Bono or Gaga confidence. i'm sure you will overcome your fears. :cool:

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Very few of us are born with Bono or Gaga confidence. i'm sure you will overcome your fears. :cool:

That ties into the book that Remy suggested. If you think that talent is inborn and not trained, you are doomed to failure. The really talented people got there by working at it. Each "failure" became a question of what can I learn and how can I do better?

But I still temper that with my experience of toxic family. Sometimes, a family member is just toxic and the only thing you can do, no matter how hard it is, is to quit "proving" yourself to them. Please believe me, been there, done that.

I am not the engineer my grandparents expected me to be. I am not the christian preacher my mother expected me to be. I am a professional failure and I am on the highway to Hell. Literally and figuratively. Yet, still, I sing and pass one what I know, if it helps others. So, i do what I can and enjoy what I can. As best that I can. And I worship no man or singer or other "role model."

Hanalei, if your father isn't going to "get it," you are wasting time and energy trying to make it happen. So, join me on the highway to Hell.

In fact, I dare you to do this song in your own voice, however it happens. It is liberating, it is your song. You can do just as well as the original singer. He had no training, no lessons, totally failed at trying to sing motown and glam, until he fell into company with a two brothers who had a total affection for the blues scale. So, they wrote a song about touring the club circuit in Australia.

It is my theme song, in many ways. You can make it yours, too. I condemn you to freedom.

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