Frustration

[jzhang172]

Hi, just ranting, but do any of you get mad that you're singing isn't as good as you want it to be? What do you do about it? Sometimes, honestly, i don't even know how to describe it, I'm not great with words, but I just feel like kind of lost and sad, and othertimes I just want to *explicit* SCREAM and just scream at everything but then I"m training my voice so if I do scream, it will *explicit* screw up my voice, so I just take a stick and beat the crap out of my punching bag. I'm really not trying to sound violent here, but this is honestly what I'm feeling.

[Khassera]

What do you do about it?

Practice my ass off.

Sometimes, honestly, i don't even know how to describe it, I'm not great with words, but I just feel like kind of lost and sad, and othertimes I just want to *explicit* SCREAM and just scream at everything but then I"m training my voice so if I do scream, it will *explicit* screw up my voice, so I just take a stick and beat the crap out of my punching bag. I'm really not trying to sound violent here, but this is honestly what I'm feeling.

Wow, that's pretty deep. Have you taken a break from singing? Try a week off of singing completely. Pavarotti talked about taking a couple of months off when he was feeling like crap, and returning twice as good.

I think the whole not stressing over your voice thing might work wonders for most people.

Catching a cold doesn't really work, since you're still stressing over your voice/routine. At least I am. So a planned "vacation" is something you might want to consider.

...But all in all... Practice.

[Liebenstein]

Take a short break from singing, stop using your voice and just rest. just like Khassera says.

Singing with a troubled mind makes your voice sound just as troubled. Relax, thats the key.

[MDEW]

Work on things in your Comfort range. Experiment there for a while trying different things. If a song in the comfort range uses a raspy sound try a couple of different approaches hit it with a soft sound, hit it with a clean sound, If it has a thick sound, try a thin sound. Some times the problem that we think we have has nothing to do with the actual problem.

Also when you are discouraged sing the songs that you nail every time and get your confidence back.

But yes I understand the frustrations. Most of the posts here are about struggles with G5 -C6. I am still struggling for a decent A4. G4 - E5 sounds like *&^%$.

I do not have a punching back but I have beaten up a few trees. I also use an axe so I will win the fight. :cool:

[ronws]

I do not have a punching back but I have beaten up a few trees. I also use an axe so I will win the fight. :cool:

Makes me thing of "Army of Darkness."

"Bring out the Oldsmobile!"

[colin040]

Sounds familiar to me man. Like last friday no matter what I did, singing around G4 was weird as hell. My voice was better off below that note for the day. It sucks, but hey, you gotta deal with it and accept it.

...Not that I did. I was still hitting strained-as-hell 5th octave notes that day. Without any good result ofcourse.

EDIT: Find a song by a singer you like that isn't hardcore to sing. It might be not the most exciting song to sing along to, but it this is better than trying to sing stuff above your comfort zone that will only sound decent half of the time.

[ronws]

Excellent point, Colin and MDEW. Sometimes, the hardest thing to acquire is patience.

I have off days, too. Just got to let it go. Also, I think, it depends on an objective view of sound. Maybe you thought you sounded like crap but you were okay. Or, you don't sound like the singer you are trying to emulate, at least, not yet.

Two factors could be at play. Fatigue, in general. Some days, you are just tired and singing is a muscular event, no matter how subtle or miniscule. Second, tension. The stress and worrying about it can also create voice killing tension. There's good tension, there is also counter-productive tension.

Khassera talks about constant practice. And to paraphrase his words from another thread, practice wisely. Mindless rote practice is not sufficient. Follow the path of Enrico Caruso. He did not have a set schedule. But, in whatever he was doing, his focus was intense. I don't mean filled with tension or strain. Just concentrate fully one thing, at a time, integrate, later. He might pick one morning to work on breathing. And that is all he did, noting fully each sensation.

Lilli Lehmann did something similar with her Great Scale. The Great Scale is going from your lowest usable note to your highest, in discrete notes, and then back down again. This could take a while but it allows you to fully concentrate on each note. This also helped to achieve one voice because the voice makes minute adjustments for each new note. There is no register unless you want to give each note a register name.

But maybe more to the point, just have patience. You have an off night and you want to destroy some object as a target of aggressive frustration? I understand. Been there, done that, mainly with other things. Things beyond my control, like other humans. And it takes a while to get to the point of not letting yourself get agitated. Let others lose their mind while you keep yours.

It only took me a few decades. You might be a quicker learner than I am.

[Remylebeau]

You have to accept the fact that time and practice will get you to where you want to be. Once you're able to do that, an off day is just an off day. Until you can do that, you're going to feel like an off day means you have no talent and should just give up. Believe me, I felt that way for a long time.

I sound like a broken record, but I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend the book Mindset by Carol Dweck. It contains a lot of information about handling setbacks.

[kevinsongwriter]

I know that feeling well. When I first started my singing journey I expected quick results. That just isin't realistic though. What has kept me going is those random shots of improvement, every couple of months i'll record my voice and go "wow, I could only dream of hitting those notes when I first started out".

Focus that frustration, that energy, into something constructive. Record your voice, where is the weakness? What needs refinement? What needs to be worked on? Progress comes through a path of failure, trouble, and sometimes anger, to get good at any skill will take you down the same path. But its worth it, if you stay consistent, practice diligently, you will garner the reward of your hard work. I'm proof of this, I used to be the most cringe worthy singer, all my musician friends told me to just stick with guitar, instead I chose to work harder at my vocals and now they're amazed at my transformation.

I also think Khassera's advice is good. Some times you can get burnt out on this singing thing, and you need a reset every now and then, no shame in that.

Regards,

[Khassera]

Khassera talks about constant practice.

To correct this: I talk about how I handle frustration from not being as good as I could be. I don't talk about constant practice, but to be honest, that's what it is for me. I don't have "off" days, I have "breath only" days, massage days etc. It's not direct practice, but it is in direct relation to getting better at singing.

I also think Khassera's advice is good. Some times you can get burnt out on this singing thing, and you need a reset every now and then, no shame in that.

And the reset actually does do good, I'd imagine. A muscle grows/adapts while resting. At least whenever I get a feeling of "vex it" I'll take a day or two off of vocalizing and feel great getting back to it.

[VideoHere]

do you ever have a conversation with your voice?

get in touch with your voice and body.....have a talk with your voice......i do.

remember the voice is governed by your wishes. feed it tension and frustration and it will see to it that you get your wish......every time.

feed it with good thoughts...

[Felipe Carvalho]

A bit pissed/frustrated at times is normal, whenever you look for progress and improvement, you will touch things where you fail in one or another way.

But TOO much frustration and getting this mad, something is weird and should get fixed. It should be a good experience to train, a fight that you can win, not a struggle, the improvement is faster this way.

[ronws]

Well, I've been reading the book suggested by Mssr. LeBeau. And it is applicable, even to singing.

A failure one day? That is tiny. How you renew every day? That is huge. For those who never have an "off" day? I cannot use the language that comes to mind. However, never accepting that you have an off day is an impediment. Learning to accept off days and moving forward, that is how progress happens.

Felipe once shared a very old file of him doing a Deep Purple song and having problems. What if he let that failure rule him?

Instead, he thought, what can I do to improve? The off day did not define his life. And now, he can do a Deep Purple song like he wrote it.

We will all have off days. But those off days do not have to define us. They are guideposts along the way.

Grow up, be a man, learn from your mistakes, move forward. I have learned that in my job, totally unrelated to singing. I could not have achieved the level of competency I now have if I let one failure stop me or define the rest of my work experience.

Or, as the SEALS say, "the only easy day was yesterday."

[Gina Ellen Vocalist]

sounds like you're being to hard on yourself. Are you getting frustrated because you don't sound exactly how you want to? set yourself REALISTIC small goals that you can achieve in a week. Like control a 'sss' on the out breath for 5 seconds more than you can already or hold a c4 for 3 seconds longer or sing a scale with a mouth shape you want or lift the soft palette without singing. This way your making slow and steady progress, that's what singing is all about. There is no miracle scale where *ping* you can now sing the exact way you wanted. :P

[Khassera]

For those who never have an "off" day? I cannot use the language that comes to mind.

Oh crap, I totally misinterpreted "off days." I thought it was a day of no practice in the routine.

Of course there are days where you're worn out or whatever, and those are the days you should just think about what you can do to get back into the game faster. It usually boils down to R&R or doing something totally different.

I still advocate doing breath exercises every single day. It takes all of 5 minutes and the benefits are way more than just vocal control.

set yourself REALISTIC small goals that you can achieve in a week. Like control a 'sss' on the out breath for 5 seconds more than you can already or hold a c4 for 3 seconds longer or sing a scale with a mouth shape you want or lift the soft palette without singing. This way your making slow and steady progress, that's what singing is all about.

This is great, and I was just telling a friend last night how vocalization is kinda like putting together a puzzle. And because of that, it's so much fun to practice.

There is no miracle scale where *ping* you can now sing the exact way you wanted.

Exactly! and most of the time the actual tone people look for isn't something singular, it's an ingenious combination that just stands out of the rest to you.

[VideoHere]

ah, khassera!!! breathing exercises, totally agree...bob

[Danielformica]

Hi, just ranting, but do any of you get mad that you're singing isn't as good as you want it to be? What do you do about it? Sometimes, honestly, i don't even know how to describe it, I'm not great with words, but I just feel like kind of lost and sad, and othertimes I just want to *explicit* SCREAM and just scream at everything but then I"m training my voice so if I do scream, it will *explicit* screw up my voice, so I just take a stick and beat the crap out of my punching bag. I'm really not trying to sound violent here, but this is honestly what I'm feeling.

i wasnt gonna write anything on this thread but i thought about it. You have to get frustrated but the thing that will make you better is pushing through the frustration with more hours of practice. Remember to master any skill it takes 10,000 hours. No i did not make up that number they have done many studies on this. And also remember even the "gifted" had to put in this time. Einstein started thinking deeply at 16 it wasnt till he was 26 that he had his big theory of relativity thats 10 years 10000 hours. Mozart considered the most gifted musician wrote at least 10 compositions before he wrote one that was considered great. Most of the singers i love an aspire to be, started singing in church at the age of 3. So when we hear them at 20, that is way over 10 years 10000 hours.

Relax but get on it.. find a mentor to apprentice with or find many (teachers).. You need to not let the boredom of not being as good as you want at this moment take over. Do it cause you love it!! Do not fool yourself either into throwing practice time away you need to practice right and know that it is right so you dont waste your 10000 hours.

[ronws]

Yeah, but Einstein was wrong, but that is another thread ... :D

[jzhang172]

Thanks for all the advice, yeah hard work doesn't come naturally for me even though I want to believe it does. I'm going to work better and harder.

"Do not fool yourself either into throwing practice time away you need to practice right and know that it is right so you dont waste your 10000 hours." -Daniel

So much agreement going on here lol