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Another Song I've written, any feedback?

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Chapman123
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Good thing, you write songs better than you whine about it. :lol:

 

Seriously, that's a good song and it has a good sound and  you're ready to throw it all away from some general sense of unease? Or, is it that you start out presenting how it's all supposed to be crap just to find out that it's not? Well, that works for half of the Disney movie plots?

 

Is this a Disney movie?

 

Anyway, good song. Publish it, make a bunch of money, buy some meds for your depression.

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To me there is no doubt you write good songs... your voice is very nice and ok for them, I like it as I like Damien Rice with all his imperfections that sound perfect to me. So, my only advice for you is to pick up ten of your songs, polish them, record and be on spotify and itunes... Then give me the link to your cd, I´ll buy it 

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Thank you ronws. Also thanks for the bluntness haha, I didn't even realize how shallow I was behaving- very childish. You're very right; you've revealed that I am being very amateur by endlessly trying to make something perfect instead of just letting it go and releasing it. I shall publish this song and some of my others and will see how it will go from there. 

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Thank you ronws. Also thanks for the bluntness haha, I didn't even realize how shallow I was behaving- very childish. You're very right; you've revealed that I am being very amateur by endlessly trying to make something perfect instead of just letting it go and releasing it. I shall publish this song and some of my others and will see how it will go from there. 

That's the spirit. We all have a short time, good or bad, on this earth. So make the most of it that you have and you do have something to contribute that is of value. And I understand you better than you might think, which is why I was blunt.

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I saw the original post. I too have depression and have since childhood. I'm on anti depressants and am forced to be at this point as they as there are certain kinds of them that are effective for nerve pain. On the meds, I still have suicidal feelings. They may not remove the depression. I have no judgment at all for you at all, man.

 

But you're a great songwriter, and the thing about depression is it is like a 'different' mind space. You create from a different place, but you also judge from a different place. So you've created a piece of art from this unique mind space, right? And then you judge it, like 'my 'weak falsetto' and 'frustrating voice,' meaningless songs. If someone else hears you from another mind space, they have different thoughts.

 

What I hear is a truly abnormal clarity in a breathy voice in your recordings, not falsetto. I've sung many times, in many styles. My voice has done a ridiculous diversity of things, but I've never gotten a breathy voice as 'clear and defined' as you already do. I don't know how much is singing, mixing, recording, but it's like even a near whisper from you sounds strong and defined, articulate, and confident. I can make really loud high pitched noises, that would be audible to a neighbor a few houses away, and it can lack the strength of your whisper.

 

You can feel like a song isn't up to snuff or was losing meaning. But I showed it to my friend and she said she really liked it. I listened to it like five times. You have people ready to buy your album. It's not really childishness, I've been there, so I know how it feels. But you've got good thing going for you man so I'm glad we're here to remind you.

 

Onto the song itself, part of what made this one it refreshing and exciting was the increased used of strumming patterns mixed into the composition, interspersed with your finger picking style. It had gallop, like a trot, and 'different kind of energy.' Your phrasing was also paced in a way that didn't rush my ears. It felt like I was galloping along with your tune, and riding the waves of your vocal melodies. I could emotionally connect to it, and in some ways it might be connecting to some of your depression that was involved in its creation. There is a sense of 'questioning the mirror' in the song.

 

Seriously though, you have something really unique. Your writing style due to sparseness of using an acoustic and vocals, are probably mixed pro enough to release too. We don't have to fit drums, bass, keyboards, strings, backing sings, and all that into the sound spectrum, to get you pro man. So you can just make an album of exactly what you're doing and it has value. Keep going man. Don't feel bad, but don't give up either.

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Thank you KillerKu, that was very generous of you. I'm going to try my best to record an album this month or the following, although it can get a little difficult when balancing school work. I'm on my last year of HighSchool(thank God). I will not let excuses get the best of me though. We do have a short time on this Earth Ronws, but in another perspective we don't. I prefer to not think of my life as a narrative because that really bores me, instead I like to imagine my life more as an impression- no definitive end. I find this motivating and it can make you see things differently, almost as a

self-sustaining life. My life can live on through others when I'm gone, as long as I make a big enough impression on people. It's kind of an interesting concept really, to step outside of your own head and lend it to someone else for a change; if your life doesn't mean much to you....it might mean the world to someone else.(I don't mean that in a self deprecating manner, just being realistic)

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No, trust me, we have limited time on this planet and each year, sometimes, each day, my body finds a new way to tell me that.

 

But, in another sense, we are immortal. I do not believe people that say they remember their first thought or moment of awareness. I think that idea is wishful thinking. I cannot "remember" a time when I did not exist. Actually, that is an logical impasse. How would you know you did not exist? Anyway, so I can't remember when my first thought or awareness and I won't know my final thought sometime in the next 30 years or so. As far as I know, I am immortal, eternal, in my experience. But the body does wear out. And give way. Make your bones, now.

 

Or don't. You only get one chance.

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Haha we always have the most interesting and deep conversations on here, you guys are awesome. 

Yeah, well, you guys went deep first. I just added a little to it.

 

So, whether you believe this is the one and only life or that you have several, I would posit that this one past through life is unique and you can still make the most of it. That much is true, regardless of religion, philosophical bent, creed, whatever.

 

speaking of Creed, this is a song that deals with stress and is something of a favorite in the office at work.

 

 

And Stapp has had some personal problems lately. And he will have to deal with them, as we all do.

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Thanks, that song is very nice; I love the arrangements and the singer's style is great. Definitely going to be adding Creed to my list of bands. It is a great stress reliever, I'm adding to my playlist as we speak- with James Taylor and all the others . Here's one for you hahahaha, here's some of my favorite stress reliever songs :).  

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    I've totally bombarded this thread...oh well. Here's some great music for some people to explore, might be some new artists to some. Some of these artists I've gotten a lot of inspiration from. Suppose I should have sent this in a message instead of further burying other peoples threads.
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