thoughts on what makes you nervous

[Jarom]

Iv'e noticed that my level of fear and anxiety changes dramatically depending on what i'm doing. When I am in a play I feel literally no nerves, the stage feels like home, I am king of the world. The piano is also something that doesn't frighten me. However, singing on stage is the most frightening thing to ever happen to me. I go on the stage almost sorta die with fear. I'll just black out leave it to muscle memory and hope I do good. I think I would be less afraid being in the same roof alone with a murder than singing on stage. But singing on stage is a must because even though its the scariest thing on earth its something I have to do. Singing is something that I have devoted my life to. so over the years iv'e realized, the more scared you are of something the more you have to do it. acting, piano, stand up comedy, etc. they dont scare me because they arn't something I HAVE to be good at. Yea, being good at them would be nice but its not something I care about. I wouldn't even sing in front of my family until I was 12 and even then they told me to quit. But I couldn't bring my self to do that and now my training has paid off and they actually really like my singing. If 100 people tell me I did good in a play and 1 person tells me I did bad, that 1 person doesn't get to me because I dont want to be a world famous actor. But if 100 people tell me I did good singing and 1 person tells me I did bad, I will fell depressed for weeks because I have a deep deep want to be good at singing. 

 

to some every thing up........what your most afraid of is often what you need to do most

[ronws]

Singing in front of others, even on a stage, doesn't bother me. I sang this song at a karaoke night at the Sherman (Texas) Elks Lodge on a dare, just like this.

 

"Brandy" by Looking Glass

 

https://www.box.com/s/e9e01d7f3f9fdfead316

 

But recording? Sheesh, I have red light syndrome. Something about it trips me and I usually have to do a few takes.

[Owen Korzec]

we're afraid of what we're unprepared to do.

 

however you will need to accept the haters and not get depressed about it even though you do care about the quality of your singing. Anything you ever do, even if done brilliantly, a small portion of people are going to hate the way YOU do it. For no logical reason at all, it just won't rub some people the right way because everybody's different. You can certainly keep the portion small, but 1 hater in the midst of 99 lovers is nothing to worry about ever and I would focus first on getting comfortable with accepting a lower standard of singing so that you don't freak out about it on stage and then as you get more comfortable performing you can add more care into it little by little.

However it is important to keep performing as much as possible. I wish I could explain why this is so important but just take my word for it, you'll never be a great singer if you don't practice performing. Performing is a skill to be trained by itself, even if it means not singing that well when you do - and doing it in tandem with the improved higher quality way of singing you're working on through training - applying it over, is the absolute hardest part and so important to work on through experience.

 

In fact the idea of accepting when people don't like it and not getting bummed is important to keep your  energy grounded as a perform. I can't imagine performing and knowing that if someone thinks I'm not perfect I lose my positivity for weeks. You have to be stronger than that. Performing over and over even if it means doing a consistently mediocre job and getting used to accepting your current skill level in the moment is one of the best ways I've found to build up that strength.

[Owen Korzec]

Also consider that maybe the confidence in those other skills comes from the lack of importance you've attached to it. See if that helps. It doesn't quite work for me that way but you'll have to try different things to find what works. The learning is in the doing and performing is a funky thing because we know people are judging us and that can make us not want to do it at all but avoiding it will just make you worse of a singer. So I try to just find the balance where I'm pushing my comfort zone ever so slightly and using performances as development but still in a way where I'm presenting something at a high standard of quality that people will enjoy hearing

[MDEW]

Iv'e noticed that my level of fear and anxiety changes dramatically depending on what i'm doing. When I am in a play I feel literally no nerves, the stage feels like home, I am king of the world. The piano is also something that doesn't frighten me. However, singing on stage is the most frightening thing to ever happen to me. I go on the stage almost sorta die with fear. I'll just black out leave it to muscle memory and hope I do good. I think I would be less afraid being in the same roof alone with a murder than singing on stage. But singing on stage is a must because even though its the scariest thing on earth its something I have to do. Singing is something that I have devoted my life to. so over the years iv'e realized, the more scared you are of something the more you have to do it. acting, piano, stand up comedy, etc. they dont scare me because they arn't something I HAVE to be good at. Yea, being good at them would be nice but its not something I care about. I wouldn't even sing in front of my family until I was 12 and even then they told me to quit. But I couldn't bring my self to do that and now my training has paid off and they actually really like my singing. If 100 people tell me I did good in a play and 1 person tells me I did bad, that 1 person doesn't get to me because I dont want to be a world famous actor. But if 100 people tell me I did good singing and 1 person tells me I did bad, I will fell depressed for weeks because I have a deep deep want to be good at singing. 

 

to some every thing up........what your most afraid of is often what you need to do most

      I often run across people who can not sing, can not carry a tune at all and have no problem singing karaoke and sounding terrible.... and they have the time of their life. We care about how we sound and want other people to like our singing as much as we like to sing and that is where the stage fright comes from.

     You mentioned that you Act and play piano and do not stress over it..... Approach your singing as if you are acting the Part of a singer.  When you take the stage you are in a play where your character sings.   

[ronws]

^ what MDEW said about karaoke. Why is it that people who have problems singing while sober get drunk, which does not help singing, and then get up and sing?

 

Here's the thing about stagefright. It is not about messing up the song. It's not about the audience hating you.

 

By the way, audience members throwing human waste on stage at Castle Donnington is a tradition, nothing against the new band, sort of like a hazing.

 

Stagefright is not about the audience hating you because they don't, as a rule. And like Owen said, there are people who are just haters for whatever reason, being insane in the membrane, most likely.

 

No, stagefright is all about you imagining what other people think. So, in a phrase, get over yourself. Sing the song as a fan of the song, not as a live or die consequence. The audience is a fan of the song, as are you. So, sing it like a fan with better technique and training. Quit worrying about how you part  your hair. And if you are bald, you always look good, so let it rest.

 

Now, it's okay to have some nerves. And even trained and accomplished musicians get a little amped up, so to speak. And that energy feeds the show. You can't help it. The audience is in a good mood, etc.Roll with it ...

 

Besides, what are you afraid of? That someone is going to extend from stage right a shepherd hook to drag you off?

 

Well, they would need a couple of big guys with hooks to get me to leave. Ron, the redneck, and 5th degree master of "weaponized" singing. I keep going until all ears are bleeding.

[etekiller]

When I used to rap on stage and I messed up I loved to make fun of how bad it went. I just told people that I got too fat to rap and said stuff like "one way to remember your lyrics is to have none and improvise" just after forgetting 4 last lines of my track. I didn't really care that much about failures.

 

But rap is different, you don't feel judged, you actually feel that you have to destroy everybody in the room who was and will be on the stage that night. That you have to push yourself to the limits and crush all other rappers. Show that you dominate with your skills. Failing is just part of it, because everybody knows it's just an act and that you are friends with all those rappers that you want to defeat.

 

Personality really helps, acting is the best way of protecting yourself from stress. That's because when you create a personality (add traits that do not exist in you, for example pretending to be a psycho) you automatically let the blame fall on that character, not you. When you "fail" just stay in your role, for example a psycho who laughs like a mad man after failing and says that it was his crazy plan from the beginning. Though always put fun in it, let people know that you're acting, they will see that you feel awesome on stage. They won't care a bit that you fail at some point. This will relieve you from pressure.

 

The psycho is of course an extreme example . You wouldn't want to do that while singing something to children. 

[Jarom]

      I often run across people who can not sing, can not carry a tune at all and have no problem singing karaoke and sounding terrible.... and they have the time of their life. We care about how we sound and want other people to like our singing as much as we like to sing and that is where the stage fright comes from.

     You mentioned that you Act and play piano and do not stress over it..... Approach your singing as if you are acting the Part of a singer.  When you take the stage you are in a play where your character sings.   

Basically sums up what im trying to say

[Remylebeau]

For me, its always been over-inflating the importance of an individual performance.  McKayla Maroney is notorious for that not impressed face after winning the silver medal at the Olympics in 2012.  With women's gymnastics, you literally train your entire life for ONE opportunity to win the gold, because by the time the next Olympics comes around in four years your body will have changed too much.

 

There's no equivalent to this in singing.  Not even the final round of The Voice, American Idol, etc.  There's always another opportunity, no matter how big the stakes may seem.  Knowing this has helped me give myself the much needed permission to fail, then get right back up and try again if I do.

[aravindmadis]

Jarom, interesting post.  I have sung several times on stage, even when I was a much inferior singer than I am today and I have never experienced any kind of stage fright.  I did not always sound great, but when I knew I did not sing well it used to really depress me.  To me singing on stage automatically energizes me.  I may not hit the centre of every note, but I am able to emote much more in front of a live audience. When I sing for recording, it is a totally different thing for me to find that motivation.  

 

This works for me and you can try if it works for you.  When I sing live, I literally make myself feel like I am in the zone.  I try to hear what I sing and I feel like I am in a bubble where nothing else matters.  It is just me listening to the music and responding.  I don't ever want to think about anything beyond just responding at the moment.  It really helps me.  

 

The other thing about fear is about the choice of the song and how confident you are about singing it.  If you know that a current song level difficulty is really pushing your limits, you naturally tend to feel more fear.  Confidence can only come from repetition and familiarity.  In other words, you need to believe fully that the song is completely do-able for your current level of skill.  And if you test your limits, the fear can only go if you are ok if you don't sing it perfectly.. 

 

We are all different in our way we approach songs, our personal limits, our tolerance for our failures(perceived or real).  And there are external factors like choice of venue, how discerning the audience is, how good the equipment is etc.  Your fear is a sum total of all these factors.  You should try to control what is in your hand(like choice of songs and singing what you are able to sing easily, or have internal consensus within yourself with respect to tolerance).. Hope this makes sense.. 

[Sexy Beast]

Stagefright is for... ???