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Song idea. Could use help.

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  • TMV World Legacy Member

Here's the thing, I just came up with some chords on the phone and then sang whatever popped into my head. The problem is, I can't play the guitar worth crap, and right now I have NO idea how to go to a chorus from the second verse. Right now it's an awkward sounding bridge after -_-; So this is kinda both "what do you think about the vocals?" as well as hoping that maybe someone has an idea on where to go from the second verse.

Don't mind the mixing. It's sung right into the headset of le phone and I'll record it proper when I get the structure of the song done and guitar recorded :P (anyone who can play the guitar? xD)

Anywho these are the lyrics so far.. Seems it will be about an oldie dying with regrets and spite :P

"Piercing me, like spears through my heart

are the tears for the years that I've wasted away

And the fear's alive, I wear it as a crown

falling down

Old and grey, pale and dismayed

bound to the wails of a man who forgot

and the dreams of gold, turned bitter and cold

Now I'm folding my last hand"


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