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Song for a new baby

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nigello
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Good day everyone!

I'd appreciate some feedback on this song I wrote for my new great-nephew, Joash by name. I wrote the lyrics and tune and a basic bass line and my singing teacher helped me fill in the accompaniment, about which I know nothing, and I sang it. It needs a lot of refinement but this is what I gave my niece on a CD. She was blown away by the gesture, and the song (she said!), so I'm interested to hear what the wider world has to say about the song and the singing. It's my first song, and it would be cool to write more, but let's hear what I need to know before going further!

Thanks!

Nigel

[link deleted 19 May 2012]

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Nod bad man. Sounds pleasant to me.

Your voice sounds very balanced overall, a nice a agility, and the overall placement is very, very nice! Forward, confortable, I hear no strain and the tone is clear and out.

On a few spots it didnt work well, a few vowels fell from the placement, and they sounded kinda ugly against the rest of the song. The beginning of the song sounds a little insecure, if you could fix that very first phrase, specially the (eh) on "gently", to work like you did with the next one "no one...", the whole song would sound much better.

Overall I say its quite nice :D, keep up with the work!

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Thanks to you both for your positive and constructive comments. I'll try to organize to rerecord the song, or bits of it. The beginning could probably be helped by having an intro, I realize, and as you say Felipe I need to iron out a few snags to improve it overall. It was all put together relatively quickly so as to be a Christmas present, and my teacher says it can usually take many more sessions to get everything in place. Anyway, this encouragement and tips help a lot.

Do you think the concept of the song itself works?

Thanks again

Nigel

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Thanks to you both for your positive and constructive comments. I'll try to organize to rerecord the song, or bits of it. The beginning could probably be helped by having an intro, I realize, and as you say Felipe I need to iron out a few snags to improve it overall. It was all put together relatively quickly so as to be a Christmas present, and my teacher says it can usually take many more sessions to get everything in place. Anyway, this encouragement and tips help a lot.

Do you think the concept of the song itself works?

Thanks again

Nigel

Oh it surely does takes more sessions! But do strive to get it right man, you will be surprised with the difference that a single vowel out of place makes.

Cant tell about the concept man, its not my style, as I said it sounds nice to me, sounds like a song if thats what you wanna know :D

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