napoleonboot

Hi, it's difficult to get into this as a listener, the tempo and melody aren't obvious and seem to move around unpredictably (that may not be strictly true but it's what it sound like) and that distracts from your singing. How about re-recording it against some backing rather than acapella, such as this 

Usually I can hear loads of things to work on in my own singing. I can't hear many here, so my suspicion is that I am getting used to my own faults. Happy to have them pointed out to me though (I know you won't be shy Ron).

George

to me they sound either a bit talky or shouty, not actually singing much. Throat too constricted. Follow the Four PIllars course, it will fix that for you.

Hi, I posted this a few days ago, but for technical reasons the post was lost. Robert Lunte already kindly reviewed it, but if anyone else feels like giving me (constructive) feedback on singing, songwriting or recording, that would be great. 

It's a prog rock piece just over 8 minutes long, hopefully you'll stick through to the end (which was the hardest part to sing due to the challenging harmonies).

George

Anybody?

An original number by my virtual prog rock band. My singing.

As usual, constructive criticism is welcome.

thanks Ron

My attempt

George

That's me!

Thanks Ron. 

Thanks for listening and commenting

All vocals by me. Constructive Criticism is welcome.

Thanks for listening an commenting Robert .

I mostly create the songs with a bunch of long term collaborators, so it was co-written. I created the vocal melody, and about half the rest of the music, but not the lyrics.

As usual constructive criticism is welcome .

I'm didn't belt so much on this as a often do on rock songs, and I think its better for it. I did all vocals and guitars on it.

George

Good effort!

This is a great song, and a hard to sing. I think Jugulator here has posted a super version in the past. 

When working on it, it's tempting to focus on the "money notes" - the long high bits. That's what most of the comments are about here. 

But... what makes it great is not just those high parts, but the lower part where Bruce Dickinson tells the story. I think that's what you should also work on!

I tried singing it a couple of years back, and struggled a little with the higher bits, but I got a lot out of working on it, and really enjoyed the story telling in the lower parts. Here's a link to my effort - this cover was created from the ground up with a friend of mine, it's not an existing backing track: 

http://www.reverbnation.com/napoleonboot/song/21392264-run-to-the-hills

George

Thanks Ron, there are odd times when I hear a bit of Tom Jones in what I am singing. It's not a bad thing.

Many thanks for listening and commenting.  I thought I was invisible for a few days there!

I think you might be right about the chanting chorus. I'm working on a new song with the same folks just now so I'll take that idea into it.

Yes the EQ is not quite right. The mix process for this was a slog, we had two competing mixes form different folk all the way up to the end..... but I'm glad they did it, rather than me, as it's a lot of work.

All vocals by me. Constructive criticism is welcome

I have just updated the links above to a newer version with better EQ (not so bass heavy).

Thanks for listening and commenting. I agree on the mix being bass heavy, and vocals being a little quiet.

If you are interested, here are the lyrics:

(verse 1)

Where are you going tonight?

Gonna hide in the shadows,

Away from the light

An undercover agent, a spy

Bound and determined to stay out of sight

(pre chorus)

Another case is pending

Have to find some more clues

Tie up the loose ends

Then we'll have the truth

(chorus)

Just enough time to save the day

Read the prophecy well

Now he can be on his way

To set the prisoner free,

Only he has the key.

(verse 2)

How are you feeling so far?

You're now free from the shadows,

Ready for the fight

An undercover agent, a spy

The innocent pawn, the fool

Screams in pure delight

(pre-chorus)

(chorus)

(bridge)

Open up the trap,

Shut down the main frame

Open up your eyes

Its all been bad dream

Wake up to a smile,

Cyber agent saviour

Shake the hand of the man

Who pulled the plug from the screen

(chorus)

Cyber agent saviour x4

Oops! I'm not sure why the link didn't work, anyway here it is differently: Cyber Agent Saviour

Also fixed in OP

Cyber Agent Saviour

As usual, constructive criticism or advice is welcome:

This is close to being final, although I have a chance to re-track if necessary.

George

Craig - many thanks for listening and the advice.

Sadly, I am not playing the instruments. It is a group of online musicians I have worked with on-and-off for a few years, and this the 5th in a series of prog-rock tracks we have done over the last year, maybe building up to an album. I did used to play guitar with the same people , but I moved to vocals about 5 years ago and my guitar playing has been getting a little dusty since then,

This is an early version of an original song "The Game".

https://app.box.com/s/wkysh01q2qmx5oe35pof

Any advice on areas/spots for improvement is welcome  - including where I might put a harmony line?

Please excuse the "pops" in the backing, they will no doubt be eliminated before this is finished.