Please feedback to my new song!

[kitana]

Hello,

Please let me know what you think about my song. Writing songs is my biggest passion as well as singing!!!!

Regarding my singing, it is not the best, but no autotune is used in my singing here. I am on my way to get a better singing voice (been struggling for a while). But Im gonna improve one day I wanna perform my songs live

However, back to my song. Please listen to this song and let me know what you think about it and gimmie feedback so I can improve my songwriting skills The Whole song is a rough idea of what I want!!! I love Ambient and R&B!

Kitana

[Guest]

Hi kitana,

First off nice job, it's not an easy thing to do.

Ok, here is my honest opinion. Keep in mind I have no real experience in this but as a listener I would be your paying public...right?

I thought the whole thing was nice and it was on the right track to be even better. However I thought it was a little too easy and cliche. By that I mean it's a familiar beat that, even if it hasn't been done exactly the same, somehow feels familiar. Like it has been done before.

I'm old school and hung out in the projects in the South Bronx and you hear this beat in basement parties. Close dancing, trying to be smooth with a lady .

Don't get me wrong it's nice stuff and you did a good job, but there is just something missing, it's too simple. maybe a hook of some sort? The other thing is the singing. Your voice is good but sounded off. Now, I don't think it was so much you being off as the fact that the song was too low and you weren't always making it that low and so being off key. Maybe raise the song a step or two and try that.....play around and see what showcases your voice more, becomes easier to sing, allows to to add more resonance but still keep the feel low and sexy.

But like I said I like this more for a sexy song for a dark room with a lady rather than something for the radio...the beat wasn't interesting enough. But good job. I think you can fix it.

Once again. Take my opinion with a grain of salt. I am only speaking as an audience member. Not as anyone who has any worthwhile experience in this.

Your voice is nice. :)