The Garden (original)

[JonJon]

The Garden https://clyp.it/qrfbaigr

 

Another of my hastily done originals with scratch guitar and the standard pitchy vocals and trite lyrics....then again it's 100% autobiographical.

Some slight 90s influence

The bass was done at the last 2nd just to have a bass on the track...some of its a little iffy

 

Cool song though? worth polishing? The guitars will have to be redone. The little lead at the beginning clashes with the rhythm because its the same exact tone (nvmnd old strings)

For the middle section I have lots of Robert Plant/Beatles psychedelia planned, Lord willing

 

Oddly enough, the main thing I am learning is how important mic positioning is lol. Sometimes u gotta get right up ON the mic...or about a foot away

 

Enjoy

[Gneetapp]

Hi JonJon, I liked it. I could totally feel the Zeppelin vibe in the verses, but I also picked up some AIC/STP in the chorus (especially the instrumental part). Even though I'm not a big fan of the psychedelic style, I liked it, and I honestly think this song deserves to be polished and finished. I felt that the first "I call on the maker" phrase in the chorus, sounded weird (for my personal taste). You are a writing/recording machine. Keep on rocking man!

[JonJon]

49 minutes ago, Gneetapp said:

 I felt that the first "I call on the maker" phrase in the chorus, sounded weird (for my personal taste).

Im going to assume that one of two things is going on in my songs:

1) singing out of tune, especially in the middle notes of phrases

or

2) weird, odd sense of melody and/or melodies against odd chord progressions

 

As long as its #2 im ok with it lol. As I said before, Im ALWAYS going to purposely mix modes and scales to keep things interesting. This whole song was a bit odd in the melodic structure. Starts off with D to E in intro. Verse is D7 feel. Chorus chords are something like G, D, A, G/F but then there's a D# in there lol and on the phrase "missing Eve" it ends on the A#4 chord. So to be honest it would be hard for me to give a straight faced answer to the question "what key is it in?"

Hopefully thats where the "weirdness" comes in...the verse more or less being in one key while the chorus is in another key. Makes the whole thing sort of "float" IMO.

Nevermind that im singing so far behind the beat that im about to fall off the back of the boat lol

[JonJon]

3 hours ago, Gneetapp said:

 I could totally feel the Zeppelin vibe in the verses,

I wasnt thinking Zep at all except that I could really hear some typical Robert Plant yelps and screams being laid over the 2nd bridge. BTW that chord at 2:57ish is the opening chord from Diary of a Madman lol. Its just begging for some Robert Plant/Ian Gillan stuff

 

Zep? I have a lot of Zep influence that comes out from time to time. I havent been in a big Zep phase lately but it will come out when its ready. Here is some old Zeppish stuff

http://www.wikiloops.com/backingtrack-jam-24260.php

http://www.wikiloops.com/backingtrack-jam-25271.php

Those are from Wikiloops about 18 months ago before I was really considering singing. I keep forgetting that stuff is there....I need to put vox on some of it lol

 

Oops, forgot this one lol. IMo major Zep vibe http://www.wikiloops.com/backingtrack-jam-29226.php

 

and...using the same Zeppish drum track

This one I wrote after being inspired by a documentary on John Bonham...hence the title. http://www.wikiloops.com/backingtrack-jam-28253.php    

[ronws]

Definitely reminiscent of Zep with the slight haze of a funny cigarette of rolled up Zappa and Mothers of Invention. Way cool, I really like this. And I think you are achieving the Jimmy Page wall of guitars thing in this one.

[JonJon]

1 hour ago, ronws said:

. Way cool, I really like this. And I think you are achieving the Jimmy Page wall of guitars thing in this one.

trust me brother, you aint heard nothin' yet