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After more work...Please critique. Lodi-take 2

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So, working on this singing thing some more. I posted this song about a week ago for comments and tried it again trying to work on singing rather than "speaking lazily" and tried to put a little more emotion into it. You guys are the best source for honest critique compared to friends and family. Anyway, same questions....on key, pitchy? all comments much appreciated. Thanks

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Your pitch is better compared to your other attempt.

You are singing a different melody than that of Creedence. I do not find fault with that unless you were wanting to sing the original melody. I will often change a melody because I am stressing a different emotion or message than the original performers.

You still sound very laid back in this song but that may be the effect you were going for.

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On the word "tune" you scooped (started below and off pitch and rose to the pitch.) Start on the finishing note. Granted, scooping is accepted somewhat in country music styling. Just a little thing. So, when you do a word like tune or through, drop the y sound and do just the oo sound. It may feel odd but listeners won't know the difference. They will assume the y sound on you. Also, the oo sound you have in through is better than the oo sound in tune, mainly because it doesn't have the y sound.

You have pronounced dipthongs which are changing vowel sounds, for example, the word hound. In the word hound, it is actually two vowel sounds. Ah and oo. Pick one and center more on that. For an open and louder sound, predomnate on ah. For closer and more intimate sound, stress oo, instead.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Love this song. I do it in my band in more of a rock style - the way Fogerty does it these days. It's a great song. I like your version, it's very laid back which is nice. Have a listen to Jeffrey Foucault's version - he's laid back, too. I think you'll like it.

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