Gneetapp

The whole problem is that even if someone where to say Jon, Drop your jaw a little more, cut back the air and sing UH instead of Oh. It still may not work because your perception of UH may be different, The jaw may still not drop enough, The throat shape may still be off and you still may not be getting enough closure or twang even though you think you are and the so called expert would still be wrong and a quack even though he gave the answer. It does not work until YOU find it through Guidance and experimentation but YOU still need to experience it before it works. So many things about singing are confusing and seem backward until you experience it and THEN you end up saying "OH, Thats what that jerk was talking about".

And knowing this, why would any of the "So called Experts" respond in the first place?  You already have your answer. You gave it yourself. Vowel modification and you are not strong enough yet. And it is not Strength in musculature, it is strength in coordination that takes practice and honing in on your own physical make up. C5 is normally in another place of passage just like E4 to G4 where you used to just flip and go into falsetto. The same rules apply here at C5.
      I am no expert and never claimed to be. I am learning and training like every one else. And when someone asks a question or is trying to make a point the terms become important to give and receive a proper responce.
      By the way the answer depends on how big the angels are and how big of a pin they are dancing on. I do not know if the material the pin is made out of makes a difference in this universe but in another universe it may.

just heard this. so you wanna get this right 
1. don't sing oh in open sing uhpen. but don't swoop to it get right on it attack it on the note.
same with love don't swoop sing uh luhve. as it sounds. not lahve
 
now aside from that some of the approach needs work . but i think you can get it don't swoop it carries weight from the bottom..

And don't forget that during La Niña years the conditions are reversed... lol

Hi JonJon, I am no vocal pro, but I think you cracked because of to much pressure, your folds could not hold it any longer and just opened up quickly. Perhaps you need to push less and try to focus more on resonance, or you just need to keep building up strength. Cheers

the "pros" I tongue in cheek refer to are the ones who argue for 10 pages over tiny shades of meaning in ancient Italian terms lol. yeah, thats REAL practical
I just answer "14"....as in how many angels can dance on the head of a pin etc
yeah, in any case im nowhere near strong enough to do anything meaningful with c5 yet lol. I just figured some of the megapros would lay out a doctoral thesis on vowel narrowing and the position of the left toe as it affects squillo during el nino years

trust me brother, you aint heard nothin' yet

Definitely reminiscent of Zep with the slight haze of a funny cigarette of rolled up Zappa and Mothers of Invention. Way cool, I really like this. And I think you are achieving the Jimmy Page wall of guitars thing in this one.

I wasnt thinking Zep at all except that I could really hear some typical Robert Plant yelps and screams being laid over the 2nd bridge. BTW that chord at 2:57ish is the opening chord from Diary of a Madman lol. Its just begging for some Robert Plant/Ian Gillan stuff
 
Zep? I have a lot of Zep influence that comes out from time to time. I havent been in a big Zep phase lately but it will come out when its ready. Here is some old Zeppish stuff
http://www.wikiloops.com/backingtrack-jam-24260.php
http://www.wikiloops.com/backingtrack-jam-25271.php
Those are from Wikiloops about 18 months ago before I was really considering singing. I keep forgetting that stuff is there....I need to put vox on some of it lol
 
Oops, forgot this one lol. IMo major Zep vibe http://www.wikiloops.com/backingtrack-jam-29226.php
 
and...using the same Zeppish drum track
This one I wrote after being inspired by a documentary on John Bonham...hence the title. http://www.wikiloops.com/backingtrack-jam-28253.php    

Hi JonJon, I liked it. I could totally feel the Zeppelin vibe in the verses, but I also picked up some AIC/STP in the chorus (especially the instrumental part). Even though I'm not a big fan of the psychedelic style, I liked it, and I honestly think this song deserves to be polished and finished. I felt that the first "I call on the maker" phrase in the chorus, sounded weird (for my personal taste). You are a writing/recording machine. Keep on rocking man!

Hi JonJon, I liked it. I could totally feel the Zeppelin vibe in the verses, but I also picked up some AIC/STP in the chorus (especially the instrumental part). Even though I'm not a big fan of the psychedelic style, I liked it, and I honestly think this song deserves to be polished and finished. I felt that the first "I call on the maker" phrase in the chorus, sounded weird (for my personal taste). You are a writing/recording machine. Keep on rocking man!

Hey JonJon, this is only the 2nd original song I listened from you, and I got to tell you that I really dig your songs man! I could get the Jagger feel you mentioned, but I don't think it sounded as an imitation, more like a little influence. Well done. Regarding the sung melody, I had a feeling that you were singing a mix of lead and harmony vocals. Maybe because my brain was tricked to expect higher pitched vocals when you started to go higher. But then you went back down. I understand that you just recently managed to bridge registers, and it was probably the reason why you didn't stay higher. If I may humbly suggest (or request) you to play around with higher harmonies, at least as backing vocals. Nevertheless, it sounds really good already. You just got another fan...

Hi JonJon, if you want to go for a heavier sound you could try tuning your guitar with dropped D and play those bar chords riffs. 

Thanks a ton guys, this is the type of tune I wasn't expecting to get much feedback on so I really appreciate it.  Will keep your thoughts in mind.

Im probably going to ditch this one lol
going to attempt to get closer to an AIC/STP sound.
So far nothing I have done has been heavy enough for my tastes. My voice is too freaking clean for one thing lol...then when I double it, it just gets more weird sounding. Definitely gotta get more rasp.distortion in there.
Putting me a nice drum track together now...nice 82 BPM vibe lol
Gonna go for something with less syllables so I can actually sustain some notes
 
One problem I have as far as heavy stuff....I simply can NOT get a really heavy guitar sound. Its funny cuz ive got a Peavey 6505+ combo which is supposed to ONLY be good for really heavy stuff. People were saying you could NOT get a bluesy tone from it. Im the opposite...ALL I can get from it is crunchy/bluesy/classic rock vibes lol. (on this recording I just used my fender solid state amp with a pedal in front)

I liked it Jeremy! I never heard this song before, but I thought your voice was a perfect match for it, sweet and smooth with a touch of sadness (it sounds like a wine description). I think I heard a few off-pitch moments easy to fix, but overall it was a good cover. I don't know why but I was transported to some beach watching the Sunset...

wow, you just outlined my whole approach!

The accomplishment I'm talking about doesn't come from praise. If this was the case I would not have spent several "monies" on music instruments and recording equipment. I believe you feel the same, or else you would have stopped a long time ago...
Yeah, you can take the "higher" path and improve your talent
I think You are doing pretty good for someone who learned how to "bridge" 2 weeks ago. I "learned" how to bridge and access my higher range 1-2 years ago. Of course learning by myself, being lazy and inconsistent in the training do not help at all... 
Yeah! That's the spirit! I'm glad I could help! ;-)
 

JonJon, so that is the question my friend: why do you write and record songs? If it gives you pleasure and a sense of accomplishment, just do it man! You could also create a Soundcloud account and post your songs there. I bet you would get tons of followers and even collaboration requests. I am not saying that all your songs are 100% ready, pro-level, radio/consumer-ready, but man, you definitely have a lot of talent that should not go to waste. I wish I had more free time in my hands at the moment to dedicate to music (singing, playing guitar, recording, and performing), because I would ask you to collaborate with me on some compositions, as I think it would be so much fun. I think it would be a crime if you don't come back to finish this song, now that you now it kicks serious arse. Congrats man!

hehe, AFAIK its original. Every time I come up with a riff or melody or lyric I always wonder if its just not a note for note ripoff of something I heard before lol
The melody. I did NOT have lyrics first. The first line is sort of my paraphrase of the Bible parable where He says "I dont know you or where you come from" lol. The lyrics were sort of worked out along with the melody. I leave it sort of flexible until I start singing. Like the line where it says "this might be a good TIIIME for you" had also been considered as "this might be a good good time". I had to sing that line numerous times. All of those high notes were a struggle because its right near the top of my range
I sort of decided the song would be in Drop D since the drums were more on the metal side and I havent done any Drop D stuff in a while. I think I had decided in my head to start on a high note and then descend to start the first phrase. So actually I did work out the melody on guitar.
I think I laid down some D chords or whatever just to get going. Then I started looking for a note near the top of my range but that I knew I could get. I just decided on G# since thats the flat 5 of D minor and it worked out conveniently. I just started on the G# and started goofing off working phrases going down. If I remember correctly I was goofing off working out the phrase by manually playing it against the low D string....playing at the 10th fret
Then the 2nd phrase "I aint really got time" is just ascending D minor pentatonic
I didnt work out every little nuance on the guitar. I was using 2 tracks for scratch guitar ideas. I had the general gist of the melody as one of those tracks but I didnt try to work out every little phrase. I just put down the main contours. For the phrase "to figure it out" im pretty sure I had something a little different laid down but when I got to singing it I just went with what felt natural
Not all of the BGV were worked out on guitar. Most of them were just a higher or lower octave or I just went by feel. The very lowest line is almost monotone which is sort of like the way he does it in Aerosmiths "Nobodys Fault" when he says 'Out of rhyme or reason..everyone's to blame" etc. He has the regular vocal melody but then he overdubbed a line that is pretty much just one monotone note
There is one actual harmony in there which is essentially a 5th lower. Now that one I had to work out on guitar because Im not to the level to hear that stuff in my head. I worked out the first part on guitar and then sort of went by feel on singing it once I sort of heard what it was going to be like. I muted all of the other vocal tracks and just pretended I was working out the melody started from that lower point.
I think I had most of the melody worked out and then I started working on finalizing the guitar chords etc. I sort of matched the opening descending vocal riff with the descending guitar line and then I goofed off and figured out I like the C chord and G major chord. The G chord was fingered like this, low to high 5x04xx and then on the 2nd guitar it was x554xx
So I had "scratch" versions of the guitar work laid down and I then put down all of the vocals. Then I went back and redid all of the guitars. On the scratch parts I hadnt even tuned the guitar lol. So I did get worried for a second hoping that all of those vox I laid down were actually in D hehe. Luckily when I checked my D string it was in tune lol. So I went back and redid all of the guitars and about 90% of that stayed the same
An interesting thing on the bass line. The first time I play C on guitar I played an F bass note lol. I just liked the way it sounded. On the guitar I almost did the same thing. On guitar it gives a nice big suspended sound that a lot of drop D guys use but I was worried that it might be a bit much since the song was already going to be pretty congested etc
bass line with rhythm gtr--> https://clyp.it/wssigf3n
 
to be dead honest....dunno if the song will ever get completed now lol. Thats the downside to NOT doing a one day wonder. Finishing songs is like eating leftovers. The original thrill is gone lol.
 
I aint gonna lie. Its pretty discouraging. Why spend all this time writing songs etc when maybe 20 people tops will ever hear them? lol
I can post it to my Fbook friends list. I think I have 143 friends currently. MAYBE 5 of them will even post a like and one of those will be my mother.
I have 2 coworkers that play guitar. One of them also writes originals and is a frontman. I used to message him when I wrote a new song, or id burn him a CD and bring it to work. I dont even bother now because he wont even really comment or he may say "yeah that was cool". I dont even waste his or my time anymore. Heck. he and I actually did 2 songs together which came out really cool. One was his and one was mine. That was before I sang so I got him to sing and play slide guitar. I wanted to work with him some more but it never worked out for whatever reasons. I guess he wants to do his own thing and be in total control. So for instance I wont even bother playing this snippet for him
So in that regard I cant EXACTLY answer why I spend time messing with music. Im assuming it must bring some sort of inner pleasure lol. I dang sure must not do it for external feedback lol
 
 

FREAKING A.W.E.S.O.M.E.!!!!!
Those several hours working on just 11s worth of music really paid off.
This chorus sounds great man! Hard Rock, radio-ready, compelling rhythm, good guitar riff, and great vocals! If you didn't tell me I could easily assume it was a cover song. I am so jealous of you now, but in a good way.
Technical question: how did you come up with the melody? Did you sing it or play in an instrument? Did you already have the lyrics before the melody?
Congrats JonJon, and I can't wait to listen to the whole song when is ready. Keep them coming! 

Going by GneeTaps suggestion, I wrote a chorus only today. Worked numerous hours for an 11 second snippet lol.
workflow was along these lines:
1) Drums programmed yesterday
2) Started writing melody in D...starting on the highest note and working down. Starting note is (supposed to be anyway lol) a G#4 which is the flat5 in the key of D
3) started putting down a few scratch guitar parts using practice amp
4) sort of bounced back and forth between finalizing the melody and changing the guitar to fit better
5) Sang all the lead VX
6) Layered all the BGV. 4 separate lines, all doubled. It gets a little into the Eagles/Queen/Boston/Yes vibe
7) Redid all the guitar parts (still just used practice amp though). 2 main parts, both doubled
8) added bass
9) mixed....while falling asleep about 10x
 
Anyway, let me know how it sounds. if nothing else its pretty interesting
Here are all the various parts....pretty trippy hearing the layered vocal track by itself
 
Full snippet https://clyp.it/41g4esi0
Rhythm Track https://clyp.it/joo5tv4l
Full vocal tracks https://clyp.it/155rws0y
Lead Vx only, definitely at the top end of my range https://clyp.it/uv0tgitn 
BGV only, 4 separate parts, each doubled (see if u can pick out the parts) https://clyp.it/bvfb0lkn
 
 Enjoy
 

I don't know what DAW you are using but Robert has a link to a site where you can buy a backing track for about a dollar. And you can order it how you want it. With background vocals, without, etcetera. Usually downloads as an mp3 but you can choose other file types. Just remember that wav files are the best, data-wise but they can be huge. 10 to 15 MB for a 4 to 5 minute song. You can drag that mp3 into an open track in your DAW. Depending on interface, you should have live monitor. If you don't, you really need to get one. My first interface did not have it. So, what I would do is pan the backing track hard right and pull off my left head phone to monitor my voice acoustically (reflective surfaces are closer on my left where I am recording.)
This would allow you a better balance of music and voice. Right now, your voice is overpowering the music.
For the singing, you must absolutely realize and accept as a physical law of the universe the fact that singing is different than speaking. Right now, you are speaking this song. In the chorus, when you roll your ah forward and closer to an oh for "eyes," yes, that gives you a bit a punk accent and similar to what Billy is doing. What you need to do is think of that everywhere else. Singing is vowels and articulation. And articulation for singing is different than speaking.
So, in the mornings, wake up, put on your slippers, whatever other morning ablutions you must do and repeat this mantra, "the singing voice is a musical instrument." Because it is, just as much as a guitar, piano, drums, flute, whatever. It is a musical instrument and you are a musician if you are singing. And, in so doing, you will approach vowels more cleanly and articulate softer to the degree that allows the vowels a straight shot out. What goes up, must come down. The earth spins on its axis creating sunrise and sunset. The sky is blue, the ground is firm, water is wet, and the singing voice is a musical instrument. So, there it is, one of the physical laws of the universe.
I think this song is a good match for you and you have a naturally good tone of voice and in a few places, you sound similar to Billy. I would definitely keep this song in your list of songs that you can and should perform, either for others or for more permanent recording.

I always wonder how they come up with some of these more offbeat sections
 
 
or
 
 
I think generally my singing skills have really limited my writing so far. With me its just getting some chords and then just trying to sing anything that fits lol. As my singing gets stronger ill be able to be more flexible