Bay_Harbor_Butcher

Really well done and as good as the original. And this is where your voice and style really shines. Melodic ballads about romantic themes because you have that crying sound in your voice. For example, it might sound odd if Ronnie James Dio tried this. Just as an r&b singer might sound odd doing "Man on the Silver Mountain."
 
I was listening to this and remembered a movie I watched last Sunday. I rented for the wife and myself "Begin Again" with Mark Ruffalo, Keira Knightley, and Adam Levine (yes, the singer from Maroon 5 can act.) And this is the kind of music that movie celebrates. Watch that movie, not just to see and hear Adam, but to gain inspiration and guidance to what you should do, next. It's fairly new, so I don't know if it is on Netflix or Hulu.

I don't necessarily mean the technique of cry, I mean the emotional content. Your interpretation can make people cry with you. Sometimes, that makes people separate themselves from their hard-earned cash to buy your recordings.

This is a good performance. I think you're really onto a style that can go pretty commercial. Ronws was talking about the cry, and I got a bit of that in my vocal style so I might be able to help you out.
 
For technique I've got a place to isolate in this performance for polishing. On the 'oh' vowel where you say, "I'm on a pay phone trying to 'go' home" this part was unstable throughout the first few repeats. It was stabilized during one of the latter sections. The go would flop down, flop up, went a bit flat once.  
 
Looking at it, and picturing it in my voice, I think I can see why as it's something I've done. The 'oh' vowel is a very shouty, chesty kind of vowel, which can make it a bit difficult when singing a softer plaintive style like you're doing here. What further complicates things is you're dropping immediately down from a falsetto passage (above a bridge area) directly into a really chesty vowel and stumble for a sec finding your footing. 
 
If you were to tuck the 'oh' vowel into a bit more 'uh' it wouldn't be as pure of a vowel but it might help you stabilize, as 'uh' is a lot more friendly for this kind of plaintive style than 'oh.'
 
On another note, what kind of software are you using to record? Audacity? I'd really like to see if I could get you a decent reverb of some kind, cause if we could pull the dry out of your voice it would really help a lot. You sing poppish RnB a lot and you'd sound great with a bit of production. Anyway, overall it's a great job, not an easy song.

I loooove your version. 
 
You're really really good, try control your voice a bit more otherwise it's perfect.

I liked it. But then, I have liked everything you have done. I don't know why aren't out there, singing in public, recording albums, being the next big thing.

https://app.box.com/s/agicghv6esfupojih33y

Very well done, Bay! I love it! Happy new year  

https://app.box.com/s/agicghv6esfupojih33y

Such a fun (and silly) song to sing.