I'm subjecting myself to critique. No hold bar

[SkyKnight]

Hi guys.

First off thank you for stopping by my very first forum post.

As I become familiar with the site and I spend more time here,

I plan to become familiar with the active users.

I am a 1 for 1 guy. If you give feedback no matter how harsh. I will try to get to some of your stuff

as quick as possible and return the favor.

Now this first recording was recorded off of my tablet.

I used my Semi Hollowbody electric Ibanez guitar

and my vocals of course. the semi hollowbody is clear and loud enough

to practice without an amp so I use that.

DO NOT HOLD BACK.

So many people in the world are afraid of hurting other peoples feelings.

Well let me tell you something. Sugar coating the truth or just plain lying helps

no one. Im looking for you to point out the bad things as much as possible so I can focus

on correcting that. Thank you ahead of time for understanding.

Telling what is good about my technique is fine but remember any technique I am good at

means I already know how to do it somewhat. So please concentrate on the bad things.

Thank you all for your participation on this first round of

NO HOLD BAR CRITIQUE.

***********The Song**********

"Untitled"

I just started coming up with the melody on the fly.

With this recording every lyric sung and every progression of melody

is on the fly off the top of my head. I am simply trying to get into the moment

and concentrate on vocals. If my lyrics don't make sense no worries It was all adlib

And off we go...

https://www.dropbox.com/s/i5qyin7rwgso4je/My%20recording%20%2397.wav

[Blameitonthevodka]

I really like it actually...maybe focus on sending the sound to your soft palate more, and in the high notes push down more for better support, other than that, really enjoy it!=) I'm just a beginner singer though, what do I know

[Foreinger]

You really can sing and do it nice! But when you sing louder it reminds me of shouting/ But anyway nice!

[ronws]

You want so bad to be ripped to shreds. Well, you're going to need to screw up, then. Personally, I am not a miracle worker. Nor do I look for things to be wrong so that I can justify a review. To me, that's just childish. And I've been wearing long pants and shaving my face for a while.

You mentioned this was total improv. There was, during the middle on some of the high parts a bit of pitchiness and it sounds like it came from figuring out what lyrics would be next. Next time you went that high again, there were no off pitches because you knew where you going, that time. So, you want to get beat up for a bum note on the fly? Well, we need to beat up Eddie Van Halen for all the foul-ups that he did on stage. Things he knew were a mistake yet, the next week, he would hear Eddie clones playing the same thing, note for note. So the "mistake" becomes "the only way to play it."

So, the few slippery notes on a live improv will not, in my book, get the same slicing commentary as if this was supposed to be a finished product recording. Or even a cover song.

That being said, even on improvisational work, have an idea of what you want to do, first. Or at least, stick with safe words that won't get stuck, making you waver as you decide where to go.

It's a good recording, even with the mic clipping from volume overload. As Felipe would say, a good recording starts with a good performance. The rest is just recording and mixing/editing.

Believe me, I know, for I have been reigning king of the "campfire" edition. Just click record, play and sing. I, too, can stomp a mic mercilessly. Felipe is starting a thread in the recording section on how to record on the cheap, using pretty much what he uses.

I really like the tone of your voice and you have an excellent vibrato that sounds natural, not forced, not too wide.

Now, for the sugar-coating. The song and the style reminded me very much of an unplugged Collective Soul, such as when they were on the show "Music in High Places." In that show, they played acoustic versions of their songs, including "Heaven," in Morocco. Another episode had the Goo Goo Dolls in Alaska. It only lasted one season, but it was cool.

Always keep this ability. One of my favorite quotes is from that scottish lady, Annie Lennox. She and Dave Stewart (they were the Eurythmics) were on the Tonight Show and did a few acoustic versions of their songs, no back up from the stage band. She said, "If you cannot do the song with one voice and one instrument, such as a guitar or piano, then it is not a song."

You have a good voice and a strong sense of melody. You are wise to get back into music. Live it, breathe it, eat it. You are very young and, by your introductory thread, unnattached. Now is the time you can travel on the road and make a name for yourself. By the time you get to my age (I'm old enough to be your dad) you will have a legacy and some royalties rolling in.

So, hurry, daylight is burning ....

[SkyKnight]

You really can sing and do it nice! But when you sing louder it reminds me of shouting/ But anyway nice!

Thanks for the comment. I agree with your statement on the loud notes. I have the ability to hit the right notes but I seem to not be able to do it properly. I fall back into my old method of just forcing it out like a demon ala

Chris Cornell style. This is why I started to recently practice singing scales.

I never practiced scales. I feel like I need to get some fundementals down and solid first before I start soaring.

@ Ronws

Thank you so much for indepth thoughts on this piece.

I love doing acousitic one man one guitar type stuff.

I have always used vibrato when I sing. I have two methods.

One is rolling the back of the throat, moving what people call the palate area

but honestly I think the part i'm rolling is even further back then that.

The other is just breath adjustment when i purposely push and pull my breath.

To comment on your comment of melody. I feel like when ever I hear a chord progression I can just spurt out a melody. I can come up with a million different melodies for just one chord progression. Its a curse cause I can never decide on the overall feel of the music when I write. I keep thinking each next melody is better than the last. This is why I need to study music theory. Its just that theory is rediculously boring. lol

I wish I could become good enough to record an EP or something. I need to buy a good cheap home recording setup.

And sit down and flesh out and finalize all my music.

Thank you all so far for the great comments. I look forward to hearing your work also.

Cheers and rock on. \m/

[MDEW]

A great way to write songs. Free flow just let it come to you. Now go back and listen to what you did. Keep what you like and don't be afraid to let some parts go.

Nothing can really be said about the song or the way you sang it because it was all on the fly. I like your sound, your sence of rhythm and the emotional expression. Over all good job.

If you really want critique send something that you feel is complete.

[SkyKnight]

A great way to write songs. Free flow just let it come to you. Now go back and listen to what you did. Keep what you like and don't be afraid to let some parts go.

Nothing can really be said about the song or the way you sang it because it was all on the fly. I like your sound, your sence of rhythm and the emotional expression. Over all good job.

If you really want critique send something that you feel is complete.

Thanks for the reply.

I will work on completing this infant song and see where it goes.

[ronws]

@ Ronws

To comment on your comment of melody. I feel like when ever I hear a chord progression I can just spurt out a melody. I can come up with a million different melodies for just one chord progression. Its a curse cause I can

That's usually how I write a song, too. Except for my song, "Gimme some time." I woke up with the melody in my head and scrambled for the guitar, still half asleep to figure out the chords and the key. Which turned out to be the key of G. Kind of a Keith Richards moment.

[SkyKnight]

I dreamed a melody to a song I thought would be a classic and the more I started to wake up I forgot it. I was too broke to afford an instrument at the time or anything to record with so It was a lost cause. Oh well.

I just purchased a sound device for my computer and am trying to pic out a good microphone any suggestions for my voice?

[ronws]

I dreamed a melody to a song I thought would be a classic and the more I started to wake up I forgot it. I was too broke to afford an instrument at the time or anything to record with so It was a lost cause. Oh well.

I just purchased a sound device for my computer and am trying to pic out a good microphone any suggestions for my voice?

Depending on your budget. You could use the Sennheiser e835. I got one on ebay for 74.99, free shipping. And you can get decent condenser mics for less. But you will need an xlr to phono cable and a usb interface.