messing around with some song ideas

[Jarom]

Messing around with a few song ideas. These are not polished at all yet and are in the early stages of song writing.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0jF0P95iUbn

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0aDuD6nAyuB

 

 

[ronws]

Right off the bat, I like the first song more. If you are just asking for personal preferences, that's it. Though I would like to hear your voice better. Is there some religious reason for having the recorder so far away? It doesn't make sense from a recording standpoint and I don't want to step on religion but I was wondering if it was possible to get the mic a little closer.

 

[Jarom]

16 minutes ago, ronws said:

Right off the bat, I like the first song more. If you are just asking for personal preferences, that's it. Though I would like to hear your voice better. Is there some religious reason for having the recorder so far away? It doesn't make sense from a recording standpoint and I don't want to step on religion but I was wondering if it was possible to get the mic a little closer.

 

Yea there is actually. If I have it close up it distorts and is actually even harder to hear. So, yea that's the reason. I'm going into the studio to get some high quality recordings in April. These were just quick recordings on a broken phone while I was playing around with some ideas.

[ronws]

Good ideas, you should develope those. Make the most of your studio time when you get there.

[Musikman7002]

I like both ideas. I have a home recording setup but when I am in "Idea Collection" mode I tend to just turn on a mic or a guitar etc and lay down the ideas quick and dirty lol. I will often do this until I have maybe a half hour or more of song ideas. I wrote a song the other day when I went back to the beginning of a 45 min doodle location and had forgot all about the ideas I put down at the beginning of the song location! I refined it etc. but I think trying to capture the vibe is the most important thing when trying to archive an ideas to develop later.

 

[ronws]

1 hour ago, Musikman7002 said:

I like both ideas. I have a home recording setup but when I am in "Idea Collection" mode I tend to just turn on a mic or a guitar etc and lay down the ideas quick and dirty lol. I will often do this until I have maybe a half hour or more of song ideas. I wrote a song the other day when I went back to the beginning of a 45 min doodle location and had forgot all about the ideas I put down at the beginning of the song location! I refined it etc. but I think trying to capture the vibe is the most important thing when trying to archive an ideas to develop later.

 

Dude, that is the way to go. If you get a chance, read the book "Guerilla Home Recording." That guy belongs to a group that does that exact thing, the goal being 20 songs amongst them in a 12 hour period. There will be some dogs. And there will be a few gems that are worth polishing. Like a creative writer, just write something, even if you don't use it. It will lead to other ideas that do work.

I just had a flash of insight for a song I am trying to write and stumbling. I have some lyrics and a vocal melody but was stumped trying to figure out the right guitar part. Then, I realized, why not let the vocal melody define the guitar riff? It doesn't matter how you get there, as long as you get there.

 

[Xamedhi]

I liked both, a lot. But I liked the first one even more, I can imagine more or less the song structure it could have and how the build up works for the climax and stuff... Also I like intense ballads. I liked your ideas to the point of wanting to sing them when I listen to the end result, and I only want to sing stuff I feel.
Also I think  your voice fits well your style of creating. Of course I'm only judging from the two recordings I just heard haha

[Bruce Chamoff]

Your voice is amazing! Like RonWS said, I would like to hear you closer and your piano playing is excellent.

[Robert Lunte]

Good for you Jarom.

Hats off to anyone that writes their own tunes.

I really love the modality of these songs... they are a bit minor aren't they. I have heard your songs before and you have a flare for the "sad" and "spooky" I think. Your songs remind me a bit of "The Cure"... which is hauntingly beautiful music.

Your voice is also lovely, it has great potential... 

However,...

You can improve Jarom by cleaning up the basic musicianship. This music has SO MUCH potential for dynamics and sensitivity, but I think your missing the cues bud. You are missing what your own song is asking you to do for it... its a little bit rushed, a little bit one level in dynamics... it sounds to me like your just not sensitizing yourself enough to what your own songs could be doing. You're being careless. Your like Lenny from Steinbeck's "Of Mice & Men"... petting a mouse too hard, but with the best intentions. 

You should get in front of me for 1 or 2 hours on skype and let me coach you on these two songs.

Also... you need to find a better way to produce recordings. Even if it is just a raw idea... you can do better then this. Get a small recording device and record "in-line" to a PA system that has both your keyboard and your vocals in it... not some recorder that is sitting on the other side of the room.

 

[Jarom]

48 minutes ago, Robert Lunte said:

Good for you Jarom.

Hats off to anyone that writes their own tunes.

I really love the modality of these songs... they are a bit minor aren't they. I have heard your songs before and you have a flare for the "sad" and "spooky" I think. Your songs remind me a bit of "The Cure"... which is hauntingly beautiful music.

Your voice is also lovely, it has great potential... 

However,...

You can improve Jarom by cleaning up the basic musicianship. This music has SO MUCH potential for dynamics and sensitivity, but I think your missing the cues bud. You are missing what your own song is asking you to do for it... its a little bit rushed, a little bit one level in dynamics... it sounds to me like your just not sensitizing yourself enough to what your own songs could be doing. You're being careless. Your like Lenny from Steinbeck's "Of Mice & Men"... petting a mouse too hard, but with the best intentions. 

You should get in front of me for 1 or 2 hours on skype and let me coach you on these two songs.

Also... you need to find a better way to produce recordings. Even if it is just a raw idea... you can do better then this. Get a small recording device and record "in-line" to a PA system that has both your keyboard and your vocals in it... not some recorder that is sitting on the other side of the room.

 

I know exactly what you mean. In fact, the majority of my training the past couple of weeks has been dynamics. I get after singers all the time for not having enough dynamics but, I have the same problem. I, however feel I have gotten a lot better with dynamics throughout the past week. I'll probably post some songs later on. I Have sonar and a bunch of recording equipment but I have no idea how to use it. I often end up spending hours getting frustrated at stupid simple things. One time I spent 3 days just trying to get the metronome to make a sound of any kind. I don't really like using it and it feels like a chore instead of a pass time. My dad is also a song writer and he has the same problem. We are thinking strongly about hiring someone who knows sonar to teach us the ways of the mystical program. I get compared to the cure a lot, they are by far the band that I get compared to the most. I guess I can see it, but I find it odd because while I like their music, I never listen to them. I am probably most influenced by Jeff buckley, Keane, Rufus Wainwright, and most recently Julien Baker.

[Robert Lunte]

... your demos have tempo problems Jarom... start with locking down the tempo and groove better... its rushing and slowing down and rushing... music like that... needs to "drone" dude... be very steady.

[Jarom]

7 hours ago, Robert Lunte said:

... your demos have tempo problems Jarom... start with locking down the tempo and groove better... its rushing and slowing down and rushing... music like that... needs to "drone" dude... be very steady.

Yep, ive been working on that to. Ive been doing things like tapping my foot to the rhythem, counting the time as i play, and playing to a metronome.