Hozier - Take me to Church (General Critique/Tips)

[GrungeManiac]

Hello once again, beloved TMV forum.

I'm tackling a different style and tune this time, hoping to do it some justice, as I solely sing rock.

Would love some feedback and constructive criticism, as always. 

Hozier - Take me to Church

https://www.reverbnation.com/grungemaniac1/songs

 

[Anthony]

This is a massive song in the UK at the minute and you do it well! I was just getting into it when it ended so suddenly. Do you have a full version?

[donduck12]

It suits your voice,I like it,you did a good job there.

[GrungeManiac]

This is a massive song in the UK at the minute and you do it well! I was just getting into it when it ended so suddenly. Do you have a full version?

Haha thank you, Yes I'll upload it soon, just mixing it a bit here and there.

 

[Enander]

Great job!

I don't mean to be rude, but your pronunciation is incredible for being from Pakistan!

I've got a few pointers concering the chorus though.

1. Since "so take me to church" is a crucal phrase (it's the first thing the listener hears in the chorus and in some way sets the mood) it needs to be on point. Sadly, it's a bit too off pitch to really give it the right impact. Sure, with your timbre and the overall feeling of the song a bit of "pitchyness" just adds some authenticity (which is the case of the verse; really nice!), but I don't think this particular phrase is not something to take lightly. Just record it until it sounds spot on, and maybe try to emphasise the consonants a bit more. It might blend in better with the following phrases (which are rather distinct), but I'm not sure. Hard to say without hearing it for real.

2. "I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife" sounds lower than the previous phrase. You should adjust the volume so it feels like the whole chorus is one single take.

3. "And offer me that deathless death" lacks the reverb that the previous phrases had. I realise it's the same thing with "I was born sick, but I love it" in the verse, but it feels like a natural way to descend into the silence, whereas you probably should keep the reverb all the way through the chorus.
Speaking of "I was born sick, but I love it"-phrase, if it were me, I'd keep the reverb during "I was born sick" and cut the reverb at the "but I love it" part to give it even more impact Just a humble tip!

[Bono]

Wow! I really like it! and I agree that it suits your voice... very nice.. yes, it needs some work, specially on the timing, but I think that with a little practice this will be great 

[GrungeManiac]

 

Great job!

I don't mean to be rude, but your pronunciation is incredible for being from Pakistan!

I've got a few pointers concering the chorus though.

1. Since "so take me to church" is a crucal phrase (it's the first thing the listener hears in the chorus and in some way sets the mood) it needs to be on point. Sadly, it's a bit too off pitch to really give it the right impact. Sure, with your timbre and the overall feeling of the song a bit of "pitchyness" just adds some authenticity (which is the case of the verse; really nice!), but I don't think this particular phrase is not something to take lightly. Just record it until it sounds spot on, and maybe try to emphasise the consonants a bit more. It might blend in better with the following phrases (which are rather distinct), but I'm not sure. Hard to say without hearing it for real.

2. "I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife" sounds lower than the previous phrase. You should adjust the volume so it feels like the whole chorus is one single take.

3. "And offer me that deathless death" lacks the reverb that the previous phrases had. I realise it's the same thing with "I was born sick, but I love it" in the verse, but it feels like a natural way to descend into the silence, whereas you probably should keep the reverb all the way through the chorus.
Speaking of "I was born sick, but I love it"-phrase, if it were me, I'd keep the reverb during "I was born sick" and cut the reverb at the "but I love it" part to give it even more impact Just a humble tip!

Hello Enander, haha thank you, us Pakistanis are actually very fluent in English and astonishingly speak English more than our own language

You said that I am pitchy through out the verses as well as the beginning of the chorus, stating that it actually works in my favour in the verses. Is this really so? Because to my own ears, I sound in key and on pitch through out. Could you tell me the exact points in the song where I seem to be pitchy so I can grasp better what you are saying?

Thank you heaps for also stating issues with the volume and reverb, listened for them again and fixed them up.

[GrungeManiac]

Wow! I really like it! and I agree that it suits your voice... very nice.. yes, it needs some work, specially on the timing, but I think that with a little practice this will be great 

Hey Bono, thanks for the kind words  

Could you expand a bit on which areas in particular aren't sung perfectly in time? 

[Enander]

    Hello Enander, haha thank you, us Pakistanis are actually very fluent in English and astonishingly speak English more than our own language

You said that I am pitchy through out the verses as well as the beginning of the chorus, stating that it actually works in my favour in the verses. Is this really so? Because to my own ears, I sound in key and on pitch through out. Could you tell me the exact points in the song where I seem to be pitchy so I can grasp better what you are saying?

Thank you heaps for also stating issues with the volume and reverb, listened for them again and fixed them up.

Ah, cool! I guess the pakistani people I've met wasn't a good measure then.

Absolutely, but you shouldn't worry about it! My ears are just very nitpicky, but:

"Giggle", "disapproval", "should've", "mouthpiece", "say it", "is when I'm alone with you" and then some I'm not sure of, but I think you get what I'm getting at.

Now, don't get me wrong, the performance is really great! I don't think most people will hear it; they will probably just percieve it as authenticity (that it hasn't been tempered with and that you're pouring your feelings into it). It's just that I've been listening for sour notes for years and probably been "damaged" haha!

[Pekka]

Yeah sounds really good.